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with you, I can in some ways understand his situation. As a father you try to do the best you can by your. You try to do it while maintaining a career to keep the roof over their heads, food in their stomachs etc. You also are trying to keep your marriage happy etc. I still have some very mixed feelings about my father. He let me "figure it out" on my own lots of times when just a little bit of help from him could have made a world of difference. The results have been good, I am who I am, but yes, I still resent him somewhat for some of those hard decisions. OP didn't do his kid any favors by making everything so easy because the real world isn't easy. That said, I get how he ended up in that situation. Ive seen it happen to friends with their. It starts with the car in high school. Kid needs a car, you want him/her to have a safe car not the rusted out shit box you had when you were a kid. Forget the fact that the shit box was good enough for you back in the day, should be good enough for them, but what the fuck right? So you decide to use it as an excuse to buy yourself a new car and give the kid your old car. At least its safe right? Never mind your 'old' car is a 2 year old E class. So the kid gets spoiled. Never learns the value of a dollar. Turns into a worthless little shit because you wanted what was best for him because you have very varied memories of how hard your life was on the way up and you don't want your kid to have to go through it. All the while forgetting that those hardships made you who you are. It stinks for OP because at this point, there isn't much he can do. He can start to cut the kid out, but I guarantee you the grandchildren be thrown in his face every time he tries to change anything. But he made his bets, now he gets to play the hand. Bettor or worse. wanna for dirty chatHello. time lurker, first time poster. Seeking your non-judgmental thoughts. I am a middle aged divorced woman. 6 months ago I met someone and we've been dating exclusively right off the bat which has gone very well. He is a quality. Also divorced after a 12 year marriage, no. He has about 90% of my "must have" qualities (has a high IQ and EQ, reliable, stable, respectful, focused, treats me royally, is physiy and sexually attractive) and 80% of my "wants" which is a good score. I know you're sensing a But, and here it it. The big thing on the must have thing that's lacking is a shared sense of humor. He is very serious and formal. I always feel I cannot really relax and be silly/goofy and have to be on my best formal behavior. We can aptly debate philosophy and world politics till the cows come home but we rarely laugh together. And if he does, it's about things that I don't "get", like strange word references. He also has a hard time expressing emotions and sentiments but that's not so much of a concern, just another symptom of his personal sense of propriety. I really like this guy for very reasons. I am falling in with him, and vice versa, and we are considering a term future. So, how much of an issue or non-issue is his lack of humor in the run? I wouldn't trade in his great qualities for anything but is it possible to have an LTR, possibly even a marriage, with someone who is so all the time? extramarital affairs
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