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they are adults. They have to forge their own relationship with their dad. I would go to al anon. Sounds like you have some co-dependency issues, when you talk about "protecting" your grown. (I hate pop psych diagnoses on these forums, but couldn't help myself. Al-anon is such a great organization for families of alcoholics.) have you ever wanted to be awith this, but here is my initial reaction to your post. I think it is important to try to allow his father to be in his life again, albeit with some expectations set beforehand. I work for a mentoring organization. We often get men with great intentions who come in the door so excited to be a positive role model for a. They can't wait. We tell them what to expect. We don't sugar-coat anything. We tell them how vulnerable the is and how important a stable figure is for them. Even after hearing the good the bad and the ugly, they still sign up. Then, 6 months into it, or sooner, they end up flaking out for one reason or another. That said, we have a lot of men who end up being great role models and really go above and beyond. The thing is, it's hard to tell whose going to follow through and whose not. I would sit down with your ex and have a real conversation about what coming back into your -'s life is going to mean for your, AND him. Tell him what your expect and need from him. Tell him in order for your to grow up with a relationship with his father, he needs to make sure he can commit. Most importantly, give him an out. Tell him it's ok if he doesn't think he can commit, b/c ultimately it's better you know that now. You have to feel confident that your ex is really in for the haul you'll never know for sure, but maybe with a good talk with him, you'll have a better idea. Good luck. meet girls tonight
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