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Once again, I want to thank folks here for being supportive as I navigate the process of healing from the break-up I initiated about a month ago. I visit here every day and it is so helpful. (I know I haven't explained what the issue was. I'm finding it emotionally difficult to type out here. Thanks for your.) I asked my ex-partner not to contact me. Because I honor others' boundaries, it wouldn't occur to me to reach out to someone who said that to me. He left me a voicemail a week ago. I heard his voice, up, thought about it for a while, and deleted it unheard. I then kicked myself for a while wondering what he'd said. I've been working with my therapist, who affirmed my decision by saying hearing his voice would just reopen the wound, and reminded me that although it was hard wondering what he had said, it would have been harder had I listened. She gave me strategies for good self-care if that should happen again. Regardless of what he said in the voicemail, I know what the message was he misses me and wants me to come back, and sad though the situation is for both of us, that not happen. Today there was a card in the mail from him. He knows I am leaving on a week vacation camping, hiking, and visiting family and friends that includes my birthday. In fact, it was contemplating this trip that ultimately prompted me to make the break because I knew I didn't want him to come with me. So there was the envelope. I picked it up, ed a friend who could listen and give me helpful feedback, and then went out for errands. When I came home I was ready to open the envelope. It was a simple happy birthday note, just one sentence, and saying "-" before his signature. I could feel his heartbreak coming through the words and that is hard because he is a good guy who at this point still has a large piece of my heart. I'm glad I read it so I won't be wondering. Mentally, I said kind words honoring his pain. And I'm honoring my own efforts to move forward I'm getting better, because I didn't spin out. The card is in the recycling and I'm out the door tomorrow. There is nothing more healing than six days of camping solo in the redwoods. I am grateful for the ability to do that and for the people in my life who are cheering me on. Feeling blessed right now. looking for release Granada Colorado classesi think i re stated in about 10 replies to different people that i did infact try to contact him over and over i DID NOT over react or get mad at him i DID sit him down and explain why i was so worried, there was never a fight or argument becuase your all right its not worth it at all, he was 2 hrs late which is ok if id known. anything can happen in two hours plus not hearing from him all day, these things are out of the ordinary so i had a ligit reason to worry, never did i fight or yell at him i just talked it out and told him my feelings, he was understanding and apologized, and yes, as a married couple it is responsible to and let your spouse know if your going to be late. sometimes he does need to be more responsible and after 2 years of ing me every day sure one day he is alloud to forget but the point is that it was completely out of the ordinary which put me in a frenzy if he had forgot to me but came straight home it would have never been an issue, the issue was that the very first time he did fail to he went out for drinks and hours after i should have seen him pull in or hear from him he was still not home and i couldnt get a hold of him. the bottom line is if someone tells you when they be home and you dont or hear from them for two hours and can't get a hold of them your bound to worry and that is what i did. my initial post was in a bit of a panic state of mind. i didnt clearify everything and i should have i posted on these forum for advice and of you have followed through on that and helped me out a lot i probably have said this over and over now but i thank you. others havent they have been rude and made me feel worse so im done posting on alll of these forums forever. i cant handle the horrid comments at this point i came here for help when im in a dark place and i end up crying every time i read the rude responses i get from people. ive been told things like i shouldnt ever have, im bat shit crazy, im a "mommy" with my husband on a leash, im asking for a pity party etc. i cant handle that i thought i was going to recieve help and i did from of you i also recieved so put downs that i just feel worse about everything after trying to make frieinds and find help on these forums. i cant put myself through this anymore. thank you honeygirl,greenlikekermit, everybodyknowsthat. i give up married woman wants married man
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