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Yep, it can take only one person to totally ruin your live but you did allow that person into your life. I'm not saying it's your "fault" but you are culpable for continuing in this pattern. Let me break it down: Husband, he's a jerk you two divorce and you're stuck (with loans, debt, emotional probs for, crapload of junk, whatever). Now . Boyfriend, still your, he's a jerk and you two break up and you're stuck (with the emotionally trouble of your, crapload of junk, whatever). Where is the pattern? Stop looking for the guy to save you. You gave birth to the and they are your top priority. No more men in the house. Period. You can date when the youngest is in college. You MUST provide your stability and clearly the men aren't helping in that way. Thus, cut them out of the equation. Yes, we all know how difficult it is starting over. We've been divorced! That means starting over, trusting again, leaning on yourself instead of filling the hole with another partner. Lottery? Come on. Is that your first step? No, get another paint brush, and start again. You can do it, we've all done it, you've done it before, just make the change that no is involved this time. You'll never be self sufficient when you're involved with a partner. For you, it just doesn't seem to work. Your good ending be in raising, emotionally stable. That's all of our happy endings. searching marrige minded relationship
And she wasn't placing blame she was offering advice. You'd be surprised how times her advice actually works, simply because not all men understand that about women. It isn't a blame game, it is a suggestion. Cool your knickers. 13045 adult massagesomething (NYT?) about how most all successful Wall St women have stay-at-home husbands. And they don't like to talk about it. But that makes sense if mom has a Harvard MBA and dad can't pull in that kind of money. I think your attitude is somewhat generational, (and shared by -) I think it be gone in years or so, the gender of the breadwinner make no difference. I think men and women get frustrated with supporting someone who is capable, but not pulling their own weight. That's what we a lot of here. Not someone pissed because hubby was in an accident, or is really working hard at school, but pissed at someone who doesn't want to get off their ass. And men complain about women not pulling their weight when the finances require joint participation. I thnk it goes to practicality. If you can be a one-income family, the one best suited for the workforce ought to be out there. If you're a two-income family, everyone ought to pull their weight. And BTW, one thing I did not expect when I stopped working full time for the move was the loss of esteem I felt at not bringing home a paycheck. I've been working since I was 12, I made a decent income and had always supposrted myself. Not having my "own" money bothers me, and probably like a lot of men, I feel a little bit less of a person because I'm not earnign anything. cybersex chatrooms
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