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ca65 1st timer here looking to Ilkley1. Issue number one is how you two discuss matters and work out conflict. The way he is handling that right now isn't demonstrating very good communication. Even if he firmly doesn't want another (which is perfectly valid), he should be able to offer you some more specific answers than "I don't know." Even if it's just, "I can't explain it. I've tried to get behind the idea of having another one, but the more I think about it, it just feels wrong and I don't want to do it." I wonder if part of the issue is that this subject has brought up so times that he now feels that you're trying to pressure him into a different answer, and he's shutting down? Is that possible? But, I also have to question how much of his "change" of decision from wanting multiple to wanting one was really a deliberate plot. Is it not possible that he thought he might only want one kid at times, but didn't feel too strongly about it? Perhaps after you insisted you did want more, he got behind it, thinking that maybe he would just do it to make you happy. Is it possible that as time went on and he saw how much work it was, it really did firm up in his mind that in actuality, he only wanted one? While you are comfortable financially, he not feel he has the extra time to give, he want to make sure he can pay for college there be a host of reasons. 2. The second part of the issue comes down to whether or not a should purposefully be brought into the world when one parent is strongly against it. I have to come down on his side on that one. Yes, babies are born every day into circumstances where they weren't planned or where there aren't always two parents and people bust their rear ends to make the most that they can and give them a great life. However, when we're talking about purposefully planning to have another when one parent doesn't want it, I think that's the wrong thing to do. Yes, you always have the choice to leave him if this is truly important to you. Or, you can choose to be happy with the you have. women who struggle to get pregnant in the first place would look enviously upon the fact that you have that one and that your husband is a great father. real women
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