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bdsm Montpelier Vermont girls To who used to work at Toys R' Us (like, 10 years ago) The thing about regret is that it sometimes takes a decent decade to manifest. You don't see it coming until you have enough perspective to peel back a few years and remember that bright, sunshine-baked corner beside Toys R' Us where we used to smoke cigarettes on our breaks and you realize that some decisions either open or close doors. You don't know this because the sound of the lock clicking takes a while to reach the ears, and you definitely don't hear it at eighteen. I don't know why I thought of you last night. It's been such a very long time; the last glimpse caught one afternoon a few years back while getting off the 211 while you were getting on. I was coming home to visit my parents, I think, and there you were. Same place. Same neighbourhood, waiting for my bus not in the metaphorical, but the literal and I thought you never moved on or moved out, but I never had the chance to ask: I was too surprised and embarrassed to after you as you got on and the doors shut behind you. I was like a fucking ninja; a shadow pulling her hood up. You never saw me. I wouldn't have been able to meet your eyes anyway. I'm sure that you're happily married with a couple of by now. I expect that someone smarter than me snatched you up and held on, sticking a into that leather cuff you used to wear so they could hold on, playful and , just in case you decided in that quiet way of yours you wanted to break free. In my youth and idiocy I was renowned for bad decisions. A former friend once said that I only made terrible ones, and she capitalized it: Only Makes Bad Decisions. I realized, lying awake last night in my apartment, that had I not completely fucked everything up had I just shown up that morning when you'd gone to to wait for me before class, had I not hit the snooze on my alarm, had I not gotten drunk and confessed everything about my stupid decision making process days later, I might've shut the door on the private sex ads Channelview
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I am the one who left. We lived like a brother and sister and I can honestly say I am happier now than I have been my whole life. It's been awhile, almost 2 years. I have a life and boyfriend , he has a life and girlfriend. But the guilt that he was not ready eats me up. He did not want to be a single dad doing this on his own. He wanted a family , retirement and the whole nine yards. I was drowning and needed to be a good parent to my boys , which I am now. He lives 2 away and is a great dad , I feel I am a great mom. It just makes me sad when I drive over to a beautiful house I made him buy ( that he didn't want ) and I drop off my clothes and stuffed for the next few days and his reflection in the window doing this alone. This was my best friend and we just battled each other when the end was near He was angry, harassed me and I fought back to defend myself. How can you feel so happy and so sad at the same time ? That is something that eats at me daily. I hear the horror stories so I am not feeling sorry for myself. There was no cheating, no leaving me with to support on my own .. none of that. Just one that wanted out and the guilt I feel at times for not loving him the way he deserved haunts me. We were together for 14 years , bought houses together , had together. ect. I just couldn't do it. How do you get over hurting someone who is a good person and I am not referrring to the harassment during divorce. He did that out of anger. I actually took it in for a time and felt like I deserved it for leaving. We have no drama , just parent our and communicate but I am guilt ridden and it is a feeling that won't go away. hot sex girl Barry IllinoisVisiting looking for intelligent Portland women. sex girl
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