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just to add something to the mix here. :) While reading your posts, (which are always so articulate and thoughtful, by the way) what came across first to me is you are a THINKER. So, maybe the key to developing those social relationships that would allow for you to be friends first would be ACTION sorts of things while expanding your circle. Let me explain. It was easier for me, as someone that lived in my head A LOT, to maintain a friendship with someone I was attracted to by getting involved in something physical not just social/chatting stuff. Much to my husband's chagrin, who happens to be an amazing cook, I never took that cooking class but that could be one if you wanted to keep things light. Martial arts is another one my girlfriends would always scoff until I convinced them to come down to the studio I trained at for years and they met fantastic guys from all walks of life and just TRY looking all sexy and cool with sweat beads pouring down your forehead. :) That actually helped my perpetually-with-the-wrong-guys girlfriend make lots of guy friends one of whom, a dentist, introduced her to the guy for her. Fantastic story, really. In a nutshell, she was sweet, smart, cute as a button but really jaded when it came to guys and just having a dojo with "brothers" (who were protective and full of friends/advice) was a particularly healing experience for her. She ended up marrying the guy and now they both train at that studio. Super cute. If something more cerebral and cause oriented is your idea of action, I did get involved in humanitarian causes that were dear to my heart and that has a way of engendering friendship while still keeping focus on something besides romance. One in particular, a shelter for teenage runaways, was where I found a friend that I eventually dated for a year or so. Great guy. We weren't right for each other term but we are still friends today. There's my.02. you find that friends first situation. They are INFINITELY better. Should the relationship end, it generally ends on a MUCH more positive note. Oh! And the sex is better too well YMMV. :) girls sex Wichitais the same thing as turning a blind eye to something that's doing harm. You don't like anything that promotes any stereotype, and yet you like this show, and this show is promoting several stereotypes or at the very least, the show's marketing is feeding into it. Some women happily capitalize on their sex appeal, and I would never ask anyone to stop being who they are. Slut Pride! and all that. It's the concept and the marketing of this show that's feeding into destructive mindsets. Just keep your eyes open for it sometimes they can blow right by you. Top Model is a series that I really enjoy, and I've caught flack for it too. I'll use it as an example: One on the first few episodes in the last had the models pose as corpses, dead victims of violent. But they were made to be sexy dead woman sexualizing victimhood and violence against women. When I saw that episode I really enjoyed that photoshoot they women were having fun, the photographers were enthusiastic, I'd never seen anything like it before it was new and creative and fresh. But the next day I read a letter in the paper written by a woman who was incensed by that show, and suddenly I realized how the shoot had this underlying message of women as victims. This kind of message when piled on top of all the other messages we get all the time affects everyone it affects how we're treated and how we ourselves. It's a constant bombardment that we internalize without realizing it sometimes, which is why a lot of this stuff doesn't bother us the first time we it. dating advice for men
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