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being supportive, dufus. You assumed that since she said there was nothing you could do for her, then you should leave her to deal with this by herself. Women don't usually think that way. MEN do, but not women. Instead, women usually gravitate *towards* each other (or to understanding SOs) for emotional support; not close themselves off to be alone. Rule #1: DO NOT attempt to tell her what she should do to feel better. You're not Mr. Fixit; she doesn't want you to find solutions for her problems. She wants you to hold her hand, listen to her woes, let her cry on your shoulder, and hold her close. That's all. Rule #2: DO NOT blow off her emotions as unimportant, unrealistic, or counter-productive. Just let her vent, cry, complain, or bitch; while you stay out of the line of fire. Once she's vented, she'll calm down and feel better. Rule #3: Understand that "no, there's nothing you can do for me" means this: no, you're not a doctor and you can't fix this cancer for me. But I'm, and I don't want you to know how I am; so I'm going to tell you that you can't help, while at the same time I *expect* and *need* you to stand ready to catch me when it becomes too much to handle by myself. So yes, there's nothing you can do FOR me. But there's a whole lot you can do to make me feel better while I go through this by myself. Make sense? Send her flowers, make homemade goofy cards to tell her you're thinking of her, fix her favorite dinner, distract her with and other activities, buy her a bear, mow her lawn or rotate her tires for her, or text her for no reason other than to say I you or hear her voice, ask how she's feeling today, stuff like that. swinger couple Jhok Fazal KhanThat was enough for me to start to fall in with him, and yet also realize that is NOT enough to make a relationship. He did not have a relationship with himself or his space, so he couldn't have one with me either. Thankfully, we make much better friends than lovers. He's since moved from a efficiency apartment which was piled high with receipts, recycling, and sundry other items he could not bear to part with. I helped him clean and organize it for half of the months we were dating but made very little progress because it is his progress to make. Not mine, or ours. He now lives in a larger multi-room rowhome which he shares with his girlfriend and a roommate. His hoarding habit was more controlled in that environment when he first moved in, but I haven't been to his house in years now, so it could be as bad as it was or a million times better. dream marriage dating
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