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Is this most wonderful forum really this dead tonight? Fine. Then I'll throw out a question which, seriously, has vexed me for a while now. What is it about letting someone know that we're kinky that makes that other person somehow lose their mind and, more importantly, all sense of decorum, courtesy, and manners? Caveat: This is just the experience of an old gal, with old-fashioned tendencies, who happens to be a sub and isn't afraid to say so. I'm an odd duck even in this world of odd ducks, admittedly. I don't want fancy dinners or flowers. Yep, I too want the thorns. But does that preclude any attempt to get to know me as a person first? Does that automatiy mean that I want to be told, in the first message on Fet, or CM, or CL, that I am supposed to be the cum-dumpster or some other such silly crap? To me, to stand up and let others know what I am doesn't give them some path-of-least-resistance fast track to some pussy or realization of their fantasy. In fact, it's quite the opposite. We must talk a spell, whether online, over the phone, or in person. We must get to know one another, each deciding whether to take things to the next step. For my old and crotchetty ass, we must meet the criteria for a vanilla relationship first. And only then can the kink come into play. Caveat, part deux: I am not judging my friends who can engage in play after a bit of negotiation. Hell, I'm jealous that I can't do it! Sincerely, Mrs. Cleaver :) looking for nsa or fwb fun tonight
You spoke up even though your tender heart was on the line. You stood up for sanity. You got a couple firsts out of the way You got hurt too. And though it sucks, sucks, sucks you got that first out of the way too. We've all been through it. Sucks, sucks, sucks But know what? It's a rite of passage, a stepping stone to a real relationship. No one picks the right guy fresh out of the gate. No one escapes the learning curve. Naturally, you feel like hell right now. Naturally, you have questions. You'll prob never answer them to your satisfaction. But in the end, it's strengthening maturing to realize we never *really* know what's going on with someone we've only known six months. That no matter what he said or did, it wasn't a waste for YOU; the good times were good for YOU; it was an experience YOU wanted; and YOU acted with integrity. I'm sorry you're hurt. YET, this wasn't good enough for you. He lacks self-honesty integrity. Going forward, I you decide those are the crucial qualities to look for in a partner. If you need a mourning period, take one. But don't make it too. It's a good time to turn to real friends and to focus on yourself your goals. don't have break-up sex with an insensitive, self-centered user: you'll only get hurt. don't stay friends with him either. He's not conscientious; he's demonstrated a willingness to exploit you, and you don't need that kind of friend. years from now you can be friends with him, but not now. Not while you're hurt vulnerable. Not until you're so thoroughly over him you don't care what he does or doesn't do with that woman. You'll be fine. You've taken a step down the path to a genuine relationship with a partner who values you. A step toward something better and knowing what qualities matter over the haul. Much depends on YOU valuing YOU. So after a few chick flicks with Haagendas, get moving. Throw yourself into enriching activities: an exercise routine, the class you always wanted to take, the mountain you want to climb this. Take your eyes off him and focus on YOU. You'll think of him and that's okay peace come. I promise. But use this energy to better YOUR life. You won't be sorry you did. attached North Charleston South Carolina female seeks very hungWell, things went well and I suppose it is from all the good you were sending my way. Things went very well. Thank you!!!! The guy that owns the Academy went with me and I took a mother and daughter out. The owner just sort of sat back and let me take the lead and prompted info when he felt I should add something. Neither had been on a sailboat so it was from the proper way to board the boat, to bending the sails, what makes the boat go, etc . by the end of 3 hours I had both of them so they could read the wind (with a little help), tack, hold a course, and work their way up wind to a stationary bouy and round it. Then we jibed and ran a bit but the wind was starting to build and I really felt like they were not quite ready for the next step. We did sail the boat all the way back thru a busy fairway and docked under sail, I had them operating the boat the whole time with just a little direction (I think this was the part that actually gained points with my new boss). Then I had them help me put the boat away and explained why things were done in a particular fashion. After we got back and they had left, he talked to me about how I can fit into his program on a range and what his plans are, my plans compliment his as he is setting up a school in the Bahamas he run in the winters. Tho this is just a weekend gig and won't really materialize this, I feel really good about things. I think we clicked on LOTS of levels. adult webcamming
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