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This seem "old Hat" to most of you, but I am 25 yrs old and so much of what I have experienced this past year sexually has been so new and mind blowing. I became involved with an older woman whO I had admired and was just so darn attracted to. After a 4-5 months into the relationship she introduced me to her boyfriend an equally knowledgeable, very confidant, and well respected in his field. In a short time we were having threeesomes .initially I was not excited about it, but have really came to enjoy it mainly because I have never been with a who knew his way around a womans body like him! So Saturday night after a nice evening out we go back to her place. She and I head for the hot tub, but he declines and just says he is going to read for awhile. That is weird because when we go out as all, we usually end up as all -! LOL Anywway, she and I have a nice relaxing hot tub time and retire to the bedroom for some very slow, relaxing lovemaking. After giving her a couple orgasms, I am licking between her legs slowly just enjoying the afterglow, she is gently massaging my scalp and then I feel his hands lightly on my ass and thighs. (he has a magical touch .knowing when to be gentle and when to be rough) I look around to his raging hard on and his gentle voice saying "he wants me." So I roll over and as usual he brings me to a great orgasm before he has his. He rolls over and he caresses me as he catches his wind. Just then she comes back into the room, walks up to the bed, spreads my legs and starts licking me .his cum and all!! (i never had that done to me before) So here is the weird part. As i get nearer to my orgasm, i get to this point where it just dont go over the edge .like a prolonged pre-orgasm and my legs literally start shaking uncontrollabley it was like having a epilectic seizure they continued to do that right up and thru my orgasm it was so weird. Anyone have something like that happen to them?? fuck Granada 65622In practice, it doesn't ever seem to work. I repeat a lot of positive affirmations to myself in my head, only to have the angry, ugly inner voice snark at the affirmations and remind me of how stupid and trite they all are. I'm quite crazy, unfortunately, but intelligent enough to reason/do combat with any kindness I might throw my own way. It would be sort of funny if it didn't keep me so fucking down. You know, sometimes I think "I'll feel sexy if I dress up as he likes and entice him, and spark his interest." But I feel foolish most of the time when I do these days, and I also feel like I'm breaking my promise to myself to NOT be the sexual initiator. It really bothers me when I do that, but honestly the last time he initiated without any hinting from me was A) over a month ago and B) when I was sleeping. Which seems to be the case so frequently! He never demands or requests sex when we're both awake just when he wakes in the middle of the night with an erection. Then I get the feeling he doesn't want me when we're both conscious. :/ But if I made good on my word and never initiated, I'd never get laid. And I'm so incredibly sexual at the core, that I would be even more miserable then than now. I'm so rambly. :/ I just feel a lot of mixed-up bad things right now and I wish I could really make it stop, instead of putting my fingers in my ears and shouting "LALALA," y'know? online friends
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