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(Of course.) Actually it's not like there are *crowds* of lovers floating around, so this is possible ;-o Also in this case there's a BDSM element, so the people involved are already tuned to making multiple relationships work. A fair amount of negotiating about expectations happens up front. That's one thing I've found very freeing about poly it's not only acceptable but expected that you're going to have those What Is This Relationship talks that seem to make people crazy in non-poly world. If you're interested, this is a really good piece about poly and dealing with the strong emotions it brings out. It's good relating info for anyone, I think, poly or not! adult personals in Kalola
I apologize for top-posting without having posted much. I have been reading regularly since over a year ago, so I am very familiar with the process. Since this is an forum, filled with strangers, this is whose opinion I would really like at the moment. I want to take a poll. My girlfriend and I had a huge fight this morning. It was a continuation of a discussion we had last night. First, some background. I am in my mid-twenties, she is in her mid/late thirties. (The age difference is only peripheral to this I think). We have been together for about 14 months now. What is important is that, though I have been out to everyone in my life for most of my life, I only came out to my parents about a month after the two of us started dating. They are (as am I) from a different culture (let’s just say it constantly ranks with Saudi Arabia in terms of homophobia) and took it super hard. I am, however, an only, and my parents (especially my dad) me a lot. I know this. This is why, even though it was terribly painful to me do this, we have stayed in contact and have kept out relationship much the same. They told me that they did not want to hear anything about my girlfriend. I obliged, except when asked direct questions. Then I made it clear that she was still in my life and that unless they want to “go there”, they should maybe not ask such questions. I wanted to give them some time, and then slowly start to force the issue. I know that within the next year or so, I would insist that she be accepted and treated with respect, or my relationship with them would suffer. I figured a couple of years is a reasonable amount of time for them to get their bearings. My girlfriend and I were planning to move in together this month, something I did avoid telling my parents. I think they would misunderstand the move to mean that I am engaged to her or something like that (again, cultural) whereas the two of us are just “trying it out”. I her, but I have never lived with someone, and I do have a bit of a commitment issue, so needless to say this is all scary (though also exciting, of course). Bottom line, I did not want the added pressure to this whole situation of dealing with my parents at the same time. I wanted to tell them after we did it, and it worked, and it had been a couple months. yoga partner wanted to practice amaroliyou need to sit down and talk. No bullshit, no drama, no emotions. Just fact finding. She obviously doesn't communicate well. Maybe she internalizes too much and just can't figure the words out in a timely fashion. Both of you need to sit down with a cup of something and no distractions and figure out where the malfunction began, and why on Christmas it ended. As for the "She ruined my Christmas" garbage? Look, I sympathize with you. I really do. The glitz, the glamor, the chestnuts roasting on an open fire. It sucks when you have the idea all in your head and life throws you a curve ball. But that is exactly it. "Life is what happens while you are planning for it." Get over the Christmas thing. You could easily salvage your New Years by sitting down and giving a fair amount of your attention to listening to her talk. don't jump in with a solution, LISTEN to where her problems are. And then ASK her what she sees as a solution. Offer yours when she is done, and ask if she is willing to help solve the problems. But you have to want it, you have to be patient as you find out. Does she mean enough to you to save things? Proceed from there. online dating website
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