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I where you are coming from. I don't want him to feel like it is his fault and I would own up to my mistakes without, making him feel like it was his fault. I would straight be like, I shouldn't of talked about marriage with you so early, because I'm really not ready for it right now. What I said in the paragraph was to explain to you, why it is I did that. I honestly didn't know until fairly recently how relationships were supposed to be. Before I thought they were just friendships where you make out in, and didn't move past that till marriage. When I say my ex really brought it up out of no where, he truly did. We went to the mall one day, I went off to do my girly shopping with his mom and sisters, next thing I know he had ran off to a jewelry stand, found me, and dropped down on one knee in the Redskins store. It had been talked about one time when we were doing homework together. My assignment asked where I saw myself in 5 years, 10 years, and 20 years. At that time I mentioned my goal to not get married till I was 30 and never brought it up again. His Mom got married to his Dad when she was 14 (his Dad was 18), she didn't plan on marriage till later in life as well, but his Dad asked and she said yes, because she loved him. So he figured and I AS WELL, if I loved him I would compromise. We split after we spoke with my pastor and he said he honestly didn't think it was a good idea for us to be together, because his goals was for us to live with his parents while he worked construction and didn't want me to work, just take care of his parents. I was set on going to school to become a teacher, and opening a low-cost (that would move to non-profit once I was able to acquire sponsors) day care center that fostered advance education, for lower income families. He knew I always wanted to do that, and pretended he wanted to go to school as well, it wasn't till after we were engaged he told me his true plans. I was expected to do as he wanted, bc I was goin to be his wife. I lost my virginity to the guy I'm with now, before I thought you weren't supposed to have sex till after you were married. This is only my second relationship ever. I'm allowed to be. I know I was wrong though. I do accept and validate that. I guess I feel like I need to explain myself, so I don't feel as bad about the decisions and mistakes I made. girls of Arkansas
But *IF* your BIL was your husbands brother, your and your sisters WOULD be "Double Cousins". That's completely irrelevent AND hypothetical, but interesting, none the less. DOES your BIL have a brother? You know You never know. swf looking for younger guyhave lots of options. I am obviously a highly desired commodity in numerous Eastern European nations who find me not only to be husband material but a sexual dynamo so I got that going for me. But in all honesty there are words you use that I guess I've retrained my to short circuit in my own 'self thoughts'. I agree that single is much better than in a shitty relationship but each relationship I've been in have been good too. Obviously they didn't work out and at some point were 'shitty' and that's a living hell. hurts when a relationship dies and all the bad stuff comes to the surface, the things we ignore until they won't let us, betrayals, self doubt, missed opportunity and investment of our lives but wasted? Never. Who am I? Do I like who I am? Well, far from perfect but overall, yeah. I'm a nice guy, overall I treat people well and I do say the same kind of shit I do on here what you can't hear is my tone or my smile. The 'dumbest' shit that someone posts for the most part, I've done equal and sometimes worse. but if I look at who I know today, my true friends I would NEVER trade that. I know some amazing people and I still have huge challenges and should I succeed I be very proud should I fail, I can only that I know I tried. I invite 'drama' into my life I can't avoid it unless I crawl into a box. I stress over work, it hurts to keep a relationship with a stepson who now lives away, I'm missing my other family the exlaws, nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters but I'm keeping them too, brother ain't doing too well could be faced with hard decisions there, I've decided if and when he needs it, I'll open my door. those things pile on, take my energy I might pass on the perfect match because I won't invest the time and not one day be wasted even if my choice turns out wrong and maybe I'll take a risk on someone that that goes bad but just knowing it was ME is enough. Sometimes all it takes is that spark wow, who are YOU? Doesn't happen often but those are things worth getting hurt over happens when you care. I'm ok with it. no strings attached
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