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monday funday cute white girl looking for fun I think you have done the right thing to book a counselor. It sounds like you know to work on the communication, and that both parties should speak about how they feel about the situation. The husband feels desperately inadaquate, enough to snap like that on the job! The feels sleepy, and you feel afraid of giving up your current situation to embrace another. (note to dumbasses: I am aware that I have no knowledge of what anyone feels. This is just an example. Dumbass.) Personally, I would be to death that the would me as a thing he could move where ever he pleased, and once I did make the actual move he would never respect me again and walk all over me. I would make him know that I have thought about it and am somewhat okay with the move, which is why I be making it at all. And that I probably be a bit stressed for the first week while I'm having to tolerate all new things but get to know the good places in the area and have make plenty of friends. I would research zoos, museums, groups, neighborhoods, just stuff around the area, and share with him my feelings, mostly but probably not all positive, about them. Because it really does need to be about you, although I'm all for you supporting your husband like you want to, but your life has got to be at least 50% about you, otherwise it's not your's, now is it. Again, you are on the right track. All the issues here stem from feelings, whether it's him feeling pushed around by his superiors or untapped in his potential or frustrated at routine, or you feeling ignored in the making of a big decision or stretched thin between outer family and husband or crushed at being ripped out of your stability. is frustrated he can't roam where ever he pleases and get into everything and sooo sleepy but wants to more things! (Just ideas, not what they actually feel.) You've already taken steps to resolve, keep it up! :)
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ca65 get laid WawaBare with me for a sec cuz I'm just thinking this out but I think people also forget that marriage is very different these days than it used to be. Gender rolls in western society were far more rigid. Men were expected to support their wives and financially and wives were expected to support their husband and emotionally/domestiy. Men were groomed to be the "men of the house" and women were groomed to be "good wives and mothers." I think a lot of the problems with marriage today stem from a blurring of those rolls and people having to define their marriages for themselves with a LOT more gray area. It's WONDERFUL but also very confusing. Particularly since most people are unaware of just how much the feminist movement has changed our society as a whole. It's kind of nice to think that men of my generation actually think that women are their equals. It's still happening though and things are still be ironed out. Both of your examples prove my point. "Men need to help more" -> Indicative that the male gender roll still hasn't quite solidified to be "obvious" that men need to also do things traditionally thought of as a wife's roll. The need to keep dating their spouse, I think, is fallout from the fact that women are now able to walk away from marriage without being social pariahs. They have a lot more choices (choices traditionally reserved to men) and though it's a touchy subject it's not nearly as acceptable for husbands to rape their wives. The "not enough sex" issue and cheating has been a millenia arguement so not so new. Men have been keeping mistresses for as as there were "monogamous" relationships. What I think is interesting is that men are less able to go outside of their relationships without their wives/gf's leaving them and SO it also leaves a certain amount of responsibility on the part of the women to try and keep their menfolk happy. Again fallout from the blurring of gender rolls. Where women were previously more dependent and unable to leave in a lot of situations or chose to turn a blind eye, we more and more this cheating is unacceptable so now what? situation. group sex
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