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-The second-person perspective rarely works for stories like these. That is much better suited for personal letters or stories meant for a specific someone, rather than a broad audience. The constant stream of I/you ends up being a bit distracting. Stick with first person, or a narrator. -More kink!! -While better written than your typical "Dear Penthouse" story, it still reads like one due to the exclusive focus on describing genitals and sex acts in great detail. How well this is received depends a lot on your target audience though. people prefer to stay focused on the juicy bits and don't care one whit about the psychological and emotional underpinnings. I am not one of them. (Know your audience.) -"Throbbing member" should be stricken from your erotic vocabulary, lol. Avoiding those cliches are one of the toughest parts of erotic writing. All in all, fairly well-written, but predictable. Keep writing. mature bbw brunette date Dudley Georgia
He got sick, really sick. I was all he had to help take care of him. I made decisions that risked my job to be there for him. I have up my apartment to move in with him. We were still getting to know each other so I was caught off guard of how he handled what happened. I come from a 'don't feel sorry for yourself' family, so he did not like me pushing him to help him get over it. The guy I fell in with is no longer there. He's no longer affectionate towards me, but tells me daily he loves me. Says he hurts from his surgery, which I'm sure he does, but I was in a car wreck and have had 8+ surgeries, so I hurt daily. That does not stop me from wanting to be affectionate. It's like he holds me at arms length now, he does not want to be close. I know he holds resentment towards me for me being 'harsh'. I hold resentment towards him because he's changed so drastiy. looking for a 75217 travel partnerLady looking casual sex MS Leakesville 39451 fat women sex
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