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Tammar is right and you're review of history is incomplete, and biased. poor people didn't have time to cheat, prostitutes were used by either unmarried or those who for some unknown reasons had extra money they didn't send to their families while they were away working or something like that. Poor people had no time to cheat, people didn't for. Have you by any read about countless men who kpt the same mistress through out their life, sometimes even had with her? Becasue they chose their mistress for personal reasons rather then the reasons they chose their wives for political, financial, etc? Or do you not count those cases as monogamous relationships, even though those husbands and wifes much stopped having sex with each other or have a relationship to speak of, once the required ammount of heirs was born? i have a different theory about common problems in marriages on this forum. It seems that these are cases of selffulfilling prophecies. People have all sorts of expectations and preconceved notions of what marriage shoudl be, the stereotipical behaviours spouses adopt and instead of staying away from those and finding their own path they fall right into them. And then they are surprised when they are unhappy. Cheating is one of those stereotypes. On our most recent library trip, my SO found this hillarious and at the same time sad book "Marriage dictionary" by, which he showed me for kicks. When I started reading it I laughed at first, becasue it was like reading standup comedy, but gradualy I stopped laughing, becasue every single one of those stereotypes appeared in complaints on this fo. I suppose that stereotypes become stereotypes, becasue they happen often enough to be common. However, one doesn't have to fall into them. I feel that when people realized that should stop buying into preconceved notions and instead create their own path, figure out what works for THEM rather the go along with the way they are told things should be relationships would improve a great deal lonely married women Eugene OregonAfter awhile, relationships are addictive. That can be a good thing when they're good and a terrible thing when they're abusive. I was in an abusive relationship/marriage that lasted 7 years. I should have left after 6 months, and I didn't. I regret that wasted time because it was very damaging to my self-esteem, though I am happy to say that my life has improved dramatiy in recent years with therapy and a heck of a lot of work on me. I worry that by sleeping with him occasionally and staying in a place where he can get a hold of you, you are never really allowing yourself to cauterize this oozing wound. I don't think you can start to move forward until he is out of the picture completely and for good. Why not change your number, change your, etc? I think that things start to feel better when you can admit that what you had was NOT good, because a good relationship is predictable most of the time. Sure, occasionally someone goes to the hospital or loses their job and freaks out a little, but it is NOT "good lover/friend one minute, sucking your bank account dry for the next." That's a user and a parasite. Those behaviors where he is a good lover/friend are what he NEEDS to do in order to keep you around to feed his addiction. Even if this have redeemable qualities, I don't think he sounds capable of being a good partner. This wish that he would die is you knowing you have to get out of this mess, but wanting someone (. fate, God, a dump truck) to do it for you. Unfortunately, YOU are the one who has to disentangle yourself from this mentally, because sadly, I suspect that even if he DID die, you would still be messed up in the head over him. Have you tried therapy? Have you tried books at the library over abusive relationships? There's a good one ed "But he never hit me." I know yours hit you (and mine hit me), but it does a good job of going into the damage that emotional can do to the victim's psyche. where to find desperate women
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