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There are a lot of mental, emotional, territorial, financial, social, adjustments to be made. It can back up on a person because that's a lot to handle. I think there are also a lot of strong intentions and notions that people put on their marriage, consciously or otherwise. People also their husband/wife in a serious light. It's easy for everything to be all laughs when you're just dating and who the hell cares if you break up. The fights you are having are normal growing pains type of stuff. Your descriptions of the fights and conversations sound like at least one of you isn't really listening and is instead already off and running with logic/scenario a,b, or c and thinking of the next thing that person wants to say. Instead of just listening. Try just dealing with the cold hard facts of the situation instead of assuming ANYTHING. don't leap to any conclusions. Just let things be and give each other the benefit of the doubt that neither of you are doing anything hurtful to the other one (because that is most likely the case.) Try saying less out loud and giving neutral responses. You need to dial down the atmosphere at your house. You also need to take the divorce word off the table. The problems you are describing with your husband are not divorce material. So it's entirely unfair to bring up divorce, and it's really mean. Cheaters, abusers, addicts, and people who totally quit on their spouse, are people that are divorce material. You and your husband just have some communication issues with confusing misunderstandings thrown. So cut down the bullshit, stop the expectations and assumptions leading to butthurtedness and just let situations be what they are.. Keep in mind that 90% of the shit you worry about NEVER happens.. Remember to also lead with your heart, you're supposed to each other, not think nasty things about each other. Lead by example on that front. horny cougars 60046
In my state, the court could order that he enter the "seek work" program if they judge him as under-employed (willfully or not.) In his case, it might not make any difference, but for those dads who are working under the table and under-reporting their income, having to report in to probation every week with evidence of applications made is enough of a hassle that can magiy change. One of my favorite fallacies on this forum is the idea that more money doesn't help. Grrrrreat, so someone down below can feed himself and on a eighty and a half a stick of juicyfruit. And, yeah, it is just oh so empowering to not rely on any, yada yada. And, sure, if you're broke, it's only because you overspend on material goods. Bite me. Your shouldn't have to eat gruel and forgo fresh fruits and vegetables, skip team sports, music lessons, class trips, or even some single stupid trendy toy or piece of clothing because your stbx is a financial basement dweller. And even if all those things are covered, their lives can still be improved with greater financial freedom. No way does $$$ make up for competent, committed, conscious parenting, but it can go a hell of a way towards supporting a parent in being the best parent s/he can be by freeing them from stress and worry by whatever increments. 43725 ohio pussyI agree with 'stachemeister in that the forms of objectification that appeal to me are be using as a footstool or end table as my partner decompresses at the end of the day quietly getting him off as he reads the paper or being instructed how to get him off as he cooks. Being a tool to help him shed the vestiges of a day and sink into the a quiet and relaxing night. If he can't sleep, providing the means to tire him out. Basiy being a fucktoy or tool to bring about his pleasure. I also get off hard on being forced to maintain the focus of pleasing him while he is groping and molesting me to assume that he's not touching me to please me but to please himself (and that I MUST NOT get off). To me objectification is the shedding of self to bring about comfort to him. It passes the point of doing it for him because he express pleasure in you it's doing it because it brings about his comfort without him ever feeling he even need acknowledge you. Sometimes I've imagined objectification in the form of being used as a game board or a chess table (with the grid painted on my back) for a gathering of his friends Yeah it is all about being brave for me too, trusting someone to do things with and to me that strike me as exceedingly uncomfortable. And then the occasional 'good girl' for the bravery :). And privately being held in a sort of cherished status by him for being brave and shucking self for overcoming fear. Being ed names like 'little fuckpuppet' and 'fucktoy' and being meticulously instructed on how to please him is objectification to me too. indian hot women
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