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I liked how it came out so I am reposting here: You take me to a cold basement with concrete floor and metal drain in the bottom. bind my wrists and raise them over my head, almost suspending me by them- but my feet just touch the ground. I am quiet with uncertainty, quiet for the rag in my mouth. I am hungry and wondering when I eat again. I am afraid that I need to go to the bathroom. I shudder with the thought After some time, you come down the stairs with a confident pace. You have something for me, something in a foil wrapper- could it be? You come, gently, to me. Stroke my hair and remove the gag. You softly kiss my lips- I can how deeply you care. You feed me the 'chocolate' square by square. I am delighted for the treat. Some time passes. Suddenly, my gut wrenches and the urge comes upon me. I cannot control it, I cannot hold it back- It is too late The shit runs down my creamy thighs. It's warm but cools quickly- sticking to my legs. It smells awful. I am embarrassed. I am ashamed I in my own filth. You have been watching the whole time. You knew what you really fed me- you did it on purpose- I trusted you, you tricked me. You are laughing at me- you torment me. You keep pointing and laughing. You jab at me with a stick and laugh. I am humiliated, I am filth. You come to me and kiss me gently on my lips anyway. You get the hose. You turn it on full blast and rinse me off. You caress my body as you tenderly wash me. I am clean. You stroke my hair and kiss me gently. You slide your hands between my legs and adeptly take care of my needs. You me. who is up and wants toplay with me
He should believe you because you are talking about your feelings. He should KNOW that he cannot force relationships. You don't need to PROVE anything to him. I get what you're doing but the more you write, the more I shake my head. You are creating an artifical reality that won't stand the test of time. I would NOT base my marriage on me being forced to do something that is pointless and wrong just so someone is happy. There's a difference between doing something to make your spouse happy and playing into spouses bullshit. IMO. My husband likes me to attend functions. I do it even though 90% of the time I'd rather not. I just don't that kind of thing as what your husband wants out of you. I think it's very sad that's he's so happy about something so artificial. There is no substance with him, it's the act, the show and not at all about the reality. I certainly wouldn't cater to someone who was using me to relieve his guilt. Counseling should spend a good deal of time making sure he owns his issues and is prepared to deal with them. Not playing this stupid pretend game. But my marriage is not yours. I wouldn't tolerate what yoru husband does, tolerate his mother or anything you've described. If I was you, I'd be walking. Seriously, this is no way to live. Basing your marital happiness on two dictated phone s to someone who you don't even like twice a week, that's just bullshit. And the house of cards come falling down one day. I don't have anything left to say that's supportive of you going along with this. It's not the phone s, it's your husband's denial and putting the burden on you. get laid IrvineThis is depressing. cam chat
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