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you don't have a good relationship, and, on the other hand you don't have a good relationship. Society has trained you to believe that you have an obligation to remain physiy unsatisfied in your relationship yet you are responsible for your wife's orgasm at the same time. Both are untrue. It is true that you are married to a selfish person. I would suspect that while you can recite things that she does that are 'giving', she is modelling what she wants to receive. Her lack of empathy is not something that you can bring gently to her attention with positive results. She is already aware. Your self doubt is a reasonable reaction to your circumstances, and should not be misinterpreted as insecurity. The attitude you have expressed is emotionally confident and secure and is similar to that of those happy in open or polyamorous relationships. Under different circumstances it might be a constructive direction for you but definitely definitely definitely NOT with this woman. Whether or not she is bi or lesbian is absolutely irrelevant and it is important that your intrigue does not persuade you to rationalize that fact away. Not only is she selfish, but she is completely comfortable willfully and consciously hurting you. That is not the sort of thing that go away with an honest conversation and a good cry. Whether or not she changes is important if you have as you need to maintain a relationship, but it is NOT important to you on a personal level. You or not remain friends after this dissolution runs it's course. "My wife of 12 years and I have had some physical compatibility issues for quite some time now. She is cold doesn't want a whole lot to do with me (physiy), and it almost seems like she cringes when I try to touch her ." The tell here is that she is and must already be self aware, yet she has not sought to resolve the issue. "Anyways, I told her that it would make me jealous, but that I wouldn't stand in her way if it would make her happy." You should not stand in her way, but you should also not forget that by choice she has been standing in yours. Surprised that she could so easily be described? don't be. She made a choice to deceive you and it is in your nature to believe her. Namiste massage girl Hollywood South CarolinaIf you can explain to me any point I've lied to my wife, then please do. As for eveyrthing you've said, please read my comments to others such as LA laday and betapyte where there are a few more details. including the fact that I talk quite regularly with my wife about my feelings for the other woman and how they've changed etc. So her reading this wouldn't be anything new. Thank you for suggesting therapy, its something that has come to mind recently in all honesty, because I DONT KNOW why I would be t hinking about another woman for this, unless there are genuine feelings there. I have never used anything my wife has done to me as an excuse, and never would. I can only guess you've been cheated on explicitly or have done it yourself to warrant this reaction. We're not talking seedy motel sex hookups. We're talking abotu the fact that somehow I found myself in a HEARTBREAKING situation where I was falling in whilst also still in. If you don't get it, you don't get it. But I'm done replying to you if there's nothing useful, no human compassion, no empathy for a group of 4 people who got themselves in a huge mess and are trying to pick up the pieces. love and relationships
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