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a personality thing. There is a yin and to a relationship. One of you is bound to feel stronger, have more energy and have more resources than the other, from time to time. Are you sure that isn't the case here? If it's not, and you are constantly going "all out" while she's barely stoking the fire, then you need to rethink your position. I've seen a lot of effort thrown out by one person in the relationship while the other person sits back. You might be able to shake things up by holding back more. You might also have a conversation about how your girlfriend doesn't seem as into the relationship as you are and you liked to know if that's the case. Sometimes people really do need to have it spelled out for them. It's not a great shame or anything, some people just aren't that self aware. Still, sometimes people feel there is a certain amount of "wooing" that must go on for their partner to earn their affections. Maybe your girlfriend feels she is owed a lot wooing. And lastly, yeah, there is a learning curve to relationships. You mentioned you were her first boyfriend so she isn't going to have all the answers, or even most of them, and there's going to be a lot of adjustments as you two figure yourselves out. You're going to find out the communication is key in relationships, might as well get going on that and start talking to her about this. anyone up for a laid back black amateurs swinger
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