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who is giving you negative ratings. You have a tremendous amount of insight and have read quite clearly between the lines. I didn't want to air all of the relationship dirty laundry right away, because I kinda wanted to get a sense how much of a strain I put on the relationship and what of our issues I should feel responsible for. There are definitely some good and valid points in defense of his point of view, and I needed to hear them from someone besides him. But yeah, its deeper than I've briefly summarized. I like honesty, even if it's brutal and I believe we should be with people we trust. He accepted it when I told him I would no longer talk to my ex, but I think he had his doubts about me at that point. Rather than confronting them or leaving me, some months later he cheated on me. With one of his ex's, no less. She emailed him out of the blue and you know how the story ends. (There's a BIG difference to me between an ex who is a regular, loyal friend, and those who /- out of the blue. I don't categorize them as being in your circle of friends, even if theres no bad blood. I get those s too, and I politely tell them that I'm in a relationship, you next lifetime) Up until he cheated, he was always jealous of something looking at that too hard, why are my jeans so tight?, I'm too friendly with guys, etc. I know now that was him projecting his thoughts onto me. FYI, Im a really tomboyish girl, gym shoes and jeans, and I don't own a shirt that shows cleavage. By most people's standards, I'm modest for a ish attractive woman. SO was definitely insecure before he got to me. I don't feel that is the path to a relationship. yes, this issue be the straw that caused our relationship to end. He hasnt had serious relationships, but I thought our friendship was the ultimate basis for a good relationship, so I tried to understand and forgive he begged for another, proposed and all (of course with no ring) I said I need time to trust him again. He has been inconsistent since. As I said in another post, talking to my ex/friend is not revenge but a matter of, "Why should I be bending to YOUR wishes and you're not even honest with me?" I know this might not be the right thing to do for our relationship. I want him to go to therapy with me but he wont mature horny Surat
Get two fishbowls, or any sort of glass container of reasonable size. Set 'em on a table in the hallway, or in the living room, or in the kitchen, wherever they're most appropriate. Get a few of those larger Peanut MM bags, empty them out into a third container (or a ZipLoc bag, whatever). Keep this in between the two containers at all times, and always make sure there's additional MMs available. Ok, the game- whenever someone wants to points ou a mistake that the other person has made, they have to put an MM in their own container. It's fine to point something out, but they have to add another coated bit of proof that they're doing so. If there's a glaring disparity in the amount of criticizing going on, then the two containers quickly become imbalanced (in terms of their tasty treat levels). That should help illustrate just how much you feel overwhelmed by the amount of "correction" you're receiving; after all, she's the one piling it up on you. If she still doesn't get it, then after one month of "filling them up," you switch to one month of "emptying them out." Each person can only say something if they take one of the candies from the other person's jar. That way, you now have the power to say as much as you like, and she has to endure the fact she's given you a lot of candies with which to make smart remarks. Now, if this is too unlikely to work, or won't have any impact, I'd suggest finding some other visual way of demonstrating just how much she's laying this criticism on you. Maybe a book? Ask her to write each problem down in a book, line by line, and keep track of just how things she finds wrong with you. The point is to try and demonstrate to her that, regardless of how right or wrong she thinks she is, there's a limit to how much nitpicking a human being can take. OH, and if nothing works, figure out a way to get an impartial third party (IE- psychologist) involved with the party. The game ideas only work with people who are willing to try (and who have a sense of, I don't know, nuttiness about relationships that's a peanut MM joke there), so you might just have to push it to external counseling. swinger wife club NashvilledavidsonCum over and keep me company. free adult dating site
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