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come to a party with me bbw here actually. I know that lately there's been a bit more tension, and thus a few more "dust ups" than normal, but it's all a part of interacting in a community. The way I it a person has two options when one occurs: getting involved in the negativity that such discussions usually devolve into; or abstaining from responding. If you should choose option one, and go in with the mindset of peacemaking, you really are setting yourself up for failure, because I've noticed that when people get heated about things, the "innocent" bystanders sometimes get flamed too. (And I'm not just talking about here, it happens in life all the time). People do interact in a negative fashion (. fight) from time to time. It's human nature. For me, it's not worth it to get involved most of the time. I don't need the additional negativity in my direction, I get quite enough of that in my life already. It's not my responsibility to be a mediator. If you choose option two, you can sit back and watch, and think "this is the third time in a couple of months that so-and-so has had a hair trigger for what seems like no good reason, wonder if something's up", and you can 'em. Or, you can that this is the fourth time that so-and-so has done this exact same thing, and you can form a better picture of what this person's really like. I guess a big part of it, is seeing time and again, what should be a discussion turn into an argument because a poster decides this would be a *great* time to start with personal attacks. I know how hard it is to not just turn around and go "oh yeah? well you're a nambypantsed ass too" or whatever. Some people try to keep it civil, while the poster continues to do the same thing over and over again. Eventually, a person just gives up and civility and respect fly straight out the window. I've said it before and I'll say it again: the fo' is not responsible for the baggage each person comes with. It's that person's responsibility to deal with it in an appropriate manner. We can only be so sensitive and understanding about things, before everything becomes a no-go topic and we're left discussing unicorns every. single. day.
glory hole Sturgis Even in your struggle, your gentleness, kindness and intelligence shimmer. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with your ex, now of all times. You can spend time trying to answer the unanswerable questions or trying to make sense of her behavior, but you need your energy to heal and regain your strength. Step outside yourself and imagine you are a friend. You wouldn't want your friend feeling tormented by an insensitive/confused ex who isn't deserving of you nor capable of being the rock you need. Take a fragrant bubble bath and afterward, lotion up your new body and show your body she's beautiful and loveable just as she is. Then eat some of the food your friends left for you. This is the hardest trial and now that you've had your surgery, you're moving in the direction of health and empowerment. Cling to real the supportive, unconditional, generous that your friends have for you. And visualize that bathing you inside and out. Do everything you can to release your ex. No matter how you hold onto what it could've been it isn't and won't ever be. Consider it a gift that you're free, independent and on a path to your filled future. And now that your friends have shown how much they care, let them know what you need! don't hesitate or feel needy, because compassionate people are honored to have an opportunity to show. Your asking them for help is a gift to them. Ask them to come over and spend time with you. Or drive you to the doctor. Or bring you a movie or something to eat. heals in both directions. r u ok?
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