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But as stated in my above response to F-G, we have two small dogs that we are both attached to and I would never keep him from seeing them. When I think in terms of "deserting" him, I do so because I would not leave our apt- he would. And he would go back and live with his mentally ill, addicted, alcoholic mother. Just being around her would probably send him back into a full-blown relapse that would land him in rehab, jail, or a grave. I don't think I'm ready to make the move that enables that change in his life. I him, certainly, and I do not want to him go down that terrible path. And since he is unemployed, he doesn't have other housing options that I can think of. I know I need to put myself first but I don't feel I'm ready to kick him out yet. I don't understand his decision not to engage in his hobbies.. I think they are anxiety reducing but his depression zaps his motivation and when he can barely motivate to get in the shower, playing guitar or writing music..well, that probably takes more motivation than hopping in the shower. i'm sorry if i made it sound like he has no interest in improving. He DOES want to improve. He wants nothing more than to have a relationship with me, to contribute, to get, to quit smoking, to do all the things he used to to do. He never learned coping skills and being without a good therapist and not being properly medicated, well, that seems to be a big hurdle to learning coping mechanisms. xxx chat citycool TOURIST traps: the (gag), sea world (- it once then never go back again), wild animal park (- good), the gaslamp district down town (pretentious, but you might as well check it out), la jolla (if you have money), all beaches -: i have mixed feelings about TJ. some folks it as an extension of san, which isn't fair. there are some interesting things to in mexico just for culture's sake. if you want to get wasted and get laid, you can party hearty in TJ like most of san -'s frat are wont to do - is not representative of mexico though most think it is. travel ensenada, rosarito, or baja those are nice, touristy places that are also worthy cool REGULAR FOLKS' places: fifth and university in hillcrest (tons of little shops, thrift stores, bookstores, restaurants, shi-shi places, coffeehouses) de lune coffelounge (tha absolute shit, in north park) aire conditioned lounge (neighborhood club) littly italy (interesting enclave near downtown) the livingroom coffeehouse, in the college are (VERY chill) hot monkey cafe (coffee, all ages entertainment, poetry, bboys, guitar players, you name it) at night (corner of and university in north park takes place every second saturday, 6pm to 10 pm wine, cheese, music, socializing with the neighbors, entertainment) silver strand state beach, la jolla shores, the cove (nice and clean beaches avoid mission beach after you have visited at least one time. mission beach is rowdy, polluted in a few areas, and is SOMETIMES a hotbed of drunken and gangster activity but the wooden roller coaster is lovely.) la jolla museum of contemporary it's a must and they host awesome films, in kensington (our local house of cinema) video (best collection of VHS tapes in the county, next to the -) balboa park (a little bit touristy but that's ok nice views, trails, a couple of great museums historical and beautiful) old town san (historical, BUT watch out for tourist trap commercialism visit at least once every year) for good clubbing, go to LA. i've heard that the stingaree (downtown) is a hoot, but it pretends to be like an LA club. online dating dating
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