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He's not going to change for you, either, not in terms of basic character. The stuff you are describing are all basic building blocks to living in the world. Hygiene? Really? There's low-maintenace, women who wash their hair, let it air dry, and remember to throw on some chapstick. They tend to men who low-maintenace, unfussy women. Other women can't get ready in less than an hour to go to the mailbox and their men tend to appreciate the package. You are what you are. If you have some areas in your life that YOU want to improve because they are meaningful to YOU, then you should do so. Learn how to cook, learn how to care for a home efficiently, learn the charm of really listening to other people instead of always being the one doing the talking. These are life skills, not bait for a trap. NEVER remake yourself into something you think a would like, because every wants something different and half the time, they can't even tell you what they really want, because they'll "know it when they -/feel it." Your boyfriend sounds like he'd be better off looking for a good nanny than he would a wife. A mother and a father bring different things to parenting, if he thinks he's looking for a female version of himself, he's got a lot of learning to do about relationships. mixed dude looking for white 23she saw alarming signs along the way, and kept talking herself out of thinking they were trouble with a capital T because she loved him soooo much, and because he could be soooo sweet in between the bad times, and because she was rescuing this troubled from a lifetime of sadness, and because he was never going to do it again. She had plenty of warning of his controlling and violent nature even before he actually beat her, six days before the wedding, but she kept hanging in there, even after he made her quit her rare dream job in NYC and leave all her friends to live with him in a dumpy house in rural Vermont, wasting her inheritance in the process. Then she took dozens of chokings and beatings before the end, and left only because she became convinced he would kill her if she stayed. Smashing objects, beating the dog, slapping food out of your hand, forcing you to drop your plans to cater to and appease him, making you walk on eggshells: these are all classic signs of an abuser, and the mood swings are getting worse. don't stick around till he gives you a black eye you have to excuse or explain away until the next time, or until the first broken bone, or until the first choke hold. men seeking women
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