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- people who have this discussion confabulate the extremely personal decision of whether or not to someone with the very public, very cerebral, highly academic argument for or against (usually against) marriage in general. And sure the arguments hold water, but I can't help but think that most of the time, maybe even all the time, people live in the public/cerebral/academic space so they don't have to have the uncomfortable conversation about commitment with their term partner or SO. Because check it out none of the arguments hold water. 1. Historical/political grounds don't really matter, because marriage has been everything from an institution of property to an arrangement of convenience to an arrangement made by family to a quick spontaneous trip to vegas to a life commitment made out of. Basiy, if you widen the history window large enough, you'll find a time in which marriage was much anything. So just because marriage was, at some point, something you wouldn't have done, doesn't really make it something you shouldn't do today, generally, if you have the right person. 2. Marriage doesn't make you stay, though. Marriage is simply a stated intention to stay. Divorce happens for a reason and that's because shit happens, things change. Does the presence of divorce diminish marriage? Not really. Lots of people don't get divorced and lots of divorces are for the best. 3. Well. Uh, duh. Of COURSE your partner's happiness and your happiness is important to you. You can be happily married, miserably single, and any point in between. There's no correlation between the two. So your arguments, while nice, really don't make sense as a justification to not get married. It really comes down to the personal, doesn't it? You don't want to that person for whatever reason. And that's okay. Just don't it something it's not a principled position. Personally, I like marriage. I like being able to introduce someone as my wife and have the person I'm talking to understand what that means: stated intended live partner, lover, mother to our, beneficiary, blah blah blah. Without that nice concise label of "spouse" I'd have to explain what she is to me to everyone I meet. And the term pair bonding arrangement is just too darn common not to have an institution for. granny Cascavel date sexDemocrats too often let their interest groups get in the way of progress and equity. The labor movement, once righteous, has become one of the most reactionary forces in American life. Labor's position against free trade would impose a massive, regressive consumer tax on the poor and middle classes. The teachers unions protect incompetence and inflexibility in the schools. The trial lawyers' insistence on punitive malpractice damages fuels the rocketing cost of health care. The AARP favors robbing our to pay our parents (and to pay us, boomers. Benefits to the elderly, who are the most prosperous demographic group in the country, should be targeted toward those who need help most. This is not to say that the Republicans' special interests are any more -; they are, in fact, spectacularly vile. But for the Democrats to succeed, they really do need to be the party of the people, which means defying their own special interests, when necessary, in the service of fairness, creativity, and progress. adult finder
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