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OK .divorced over a year (her wishes), separated for 3 years (traumatic separation, my fault). wonderful, house, pool, picket fence, volvo (i'm kidding about the volvo). We are both hard working professionals. No substance or health issues. We have been in this "mending" mode since the separation. Neither of us has dated other people. I am in an apt., paying support, the whole drill. Here's the bottom line. I have been very clear of my wishes to put this relationship back together and for us both to start living under the same roof again. We have been to couples counseling, wrote letters, phone s, dates, no dates, done everything except stand upside down and do the two step. She is still not able to say "yes, move back in and lets proceed". I am at the end of my rope and really feel it's time to start settling in to a new life. It's very scary to think of ending this but the writing appears to be on the wall. She tells me she loves me more than anyone in the world and to give her more time. I can't really hear that anymore, and believe it, as I remain the "outsider". I want sincere answers, not scolding. I am a good person, work hard, and did not plan on falling for another woman in this life. Here's the questions; Is there life after divorce? and/or Is it possible to have a thriving relationship with an ex after an affair? I am particularly interested in hearing from the females of the crowd. Again, I have been scolded and beat up already, I am looking for intelligent advice. fuck Netherlands Antilles bitchesAnd I did. We've gone through a lot of drama to get to where we are now. He wants to simply enjoy our time together. Everytime there's a mention of her he doesn't want to talk about her. If he finds anything from her left around at his house (he recently went through old Holiday cards) he'd throw it out. Pictures from his high school dances, letters dated 6 years ago, etc. are left behind. I understand that they are a big part of him, but it's like he's been weening away from her. She's been a friend with benefits kind of girl. I got on his case for going so far to do that, but they were sweethearts. I just want to know what I could do when I have to deal with it. I get jealous and upset when I think about her because she's not as, smart, or directed in life as I am. I never understood why he raved about her or even seemed to care, but I'm sure it's because they've had such a history together. I just feel like crap when some figment of her comes around an old card. The girl he fell in with years ago is so much different from who she is now. Her letters sounds so juvenille and I get uspet because I feel so much more sophisticated and mature than that. He doesn't want a relationship with her, he just wanted to know if there was any of one later (which sucked to hear). Right now he attributes his indecision because she's been the most comfortable thing in his life. Always relying on her for all sorts of things. He told me that he wanted to have me around because I force him to grow up, realize things he's never realized. He feels he'd never find anyone like me because I have a different effect. With her they were too, and I guess they felt like they were playing house. Maybe he was like this because he was running away from reality. I just don't know how to deal with this history. professional dating service
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