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I tend to prefer the feminine and androgynous part of the gender scale in people of either sex. My feeling is Ladyboys are ladies too. I don't have a masculine/feminine dynamic with anyone including men. But hey to each their own. "Butch" can mean anything from a woman who likes comfortable clothes, a strong woman, a unique way of being a woman or people who are a little male identified. There's a whole spectrum. While some people might like being "the -" or "the boyfriend" that concept can grate on others who are tired of being seen as "like men". It's unique to the individual. I think they have taken offense to "hey I'm not a lesbian". Lesbians are no more uniform than bifolks. Just remember we've all been labeled or treated as different at some point or another so if you don't want people to prejudge you you can't do the same to them. The only thing we all have in common is the political reality of not being straight, which in the end is enough. I also think some people were just joshing with you and the humor/affect didn't translate in written form. That's why people should never argue by e-mail or text messaging. Also it's one thing for people to appreciate a quality in others they lack themselves and a totally different thing to disparage a quality in the people one dates. If you look down on "girliness" or think of feminine people as just people who giggle and wear dresses it might not be to date women who have a trait you disparage a bit. I liked a quote I saw on a butch/femme website: Femmes are the subject of not the. While that dynamic is not my personal preference I can appreciate that sentiment. in town for the weekend and looking for a date
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