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I am a married, intelligent and open minded White Male; Mature (in late 50's) who feels that they are trapped in a dull and boring marriage. My wife doesn't share my same interests, has let herself go and just doesn't seem to care about anything anymore. I can't carry on intelligent conversations like we use to, she's grown lazy and physiy I find her un-attractive. She works, comes home, sits in her recliner and watches old movies/DVD's. She doesn't cook or clean house. She won't get out and travel like we use to, not interested in going out to eat, going to movies or having fun. She has became a BORE. Not matter what I do to motivate her, she doesn't care. She forgets my birthday, our anniversary, and even Christmas. I do things for her all the time and she doesn't seem to care.
So, here I am TRAPPED in a dull and boring marriage. I come and go as I please. She doesn't share my interests like she use to. I've tried to do things she likes, but she doesn't care. She is smart, MBA, a senior position in one of the Major Banks in the area. She just bores me. I can't do anything to get her motivated.
I like old movies, classic rock, reading, writing, photography, traveling, taking walks and hiking. I am an avid reader. I am a published author. I have a BS and MS degree, a great job and have had a lot of opportunities in my life that some people never will get. I am not materialistic, not into a lot of BS or dealing with excess baggage. I try to keep myself mentally and physiy fit (which is some what difficult when your other half doesn't want to join in). I am frustrated and bored. I need a woman friend to hang out with and carry on intelligent conversations. My wife lets me have a lot of freedom to do what I want, and I just want someone who maybe also feels trapped in a dull relationship.
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1. Ditch the phone monitoring. WTH? I absolutely cannot fathom invading my husband's privacy in such a way, it is disrespectful and deceitful. 2. No matter how much you protest that you're cool with porn I think you need to own the fact the you really aren't. You know how you feel, stop with the "I don't know how I feel." What you're really saying is, "I'm pissed off, but I don't want to seem like a prude about porn." Stop trying to be "cool" about it. Otherwise, you wouldn't be using terms like "caught him" or feeling the need to monitor his phone usage. 3. This isn't about YOU. Stop thinking you can "fix" him, and stop taking his porn as a personal challenge to provide him with such a level of stimulation that he doesn't need porn. You're competing with a fantasy how silly is that? And you NEVER win. Personally, I think his constant access of the porn on his phone is a bit much. An addict? I don't know. I'd say he was close, if he wasn't over the line, yet, but I don't know the dynamic of y'alls sexual life to really judge. Is his porn affecting the quality/quantity of sex between you two? I DO know that porn IS highly addictive simply because of the stimulation that it provides for the pleasure centers in the, so if someone has an addictive personality to begin with, it's possible that he's "addicted" to porn. Porn addiction is a tough nut to crack. With porn addictions, men (and sometimes women) discover that they cannot masturbate without the visual images the more and more extreme dopamine production that becomes common while watching porn becomes a necessary element in arousal. However, you need to be clear: What do YOU want out of all of this? Are you just worried about the amount of porn he's watching? Is his preoccupation with porn affecting the amount of sex you are, or are not, getting? Can you say, "I feel like you are getting most of your sexual stimulation from your phone instead of from me, and I am tired of competing with your Android." Are his phone charges for porn becoming oppressive? You need to figure out what it is that you REALLY want to change before you approach your husband. Good luck. mature swingers 78006 Plano
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