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it seems easy to be dispassionate about this from my side of the monitor but from yours I can imagine a lot of anger, hurt and introspection. So here is the best I can come up with. Think of the absolutely worst thing you've done during the your marriage that she has no idea about. If she knew that thing, would she be inclined to divorce you over it? If so, then I think she gets a hall pass because you know in your heart you've got a secret of comparable proportion and the only difference is that hers is known. I don't know if that's good advice or not and I'm not sure I could follow it even if I was in your shoes but hers was likely an indiscretion fueled by your being gone. No, you didn't light the fire but you left the matches on the table. looking for an asian fubuand I agree that should be told to be careful and think twice before jumping in. In fact, I think should be told everything they want to know about sex. I don't think it's something we should hide, at all, as a culture. What I to is the idea that having sex or having sex before marriage is BAD, and that people (mostly women) who have sex are somehow dirty or should be ashamed of their actions. THAT is the supposed "morality" I don't think should be attached to sex. The morality of "be careful not to hurt anyone and don't use sex as a weapon" I can definitely get behind. But I feel that a lot of the thinking about sex being dangerous is archaic now that the result of sex is not usually pregnancy and the birth of a. The advent of birth control means that teens CAN have sex without damage to their future. I know that your post was referring to emotional damage but if sex is considered a positive thing and both parties want to do it and birth control is used, they be just fine. I think all of the overly cautious warnings do far more harm than good. The problem with abstinence education is that it tries to scare into just shoving their feelings under a rug and shames them about their natural bodily impulses. Sex for a teenager can be a very positive thing! I know it was for me. And although we seem to consider teenagers "-" still, they should have the right to make fully informed decisions about their bodies and lives. Why hide the truth from them? married couples
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