Rambling A over a year ago, I passed up the chance of having the one person I always wanted, because I wanted my freedom. I wanted just myself again, afer years of trying to love someone else, who was determined to erase my existence I guess we could say. I said mean, heartless things that I regret.I was drowning in mid air trying to the reality of everything happening around me, that I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt. I think back to those conversations a lot of times I just want to cry, how could I let someone break me down so badly, that all I could say to the one person I actually loved was harsh, shattering words? How in the world did I let things get so out of control, that I couldnt even control myself? Then the hundreds of memories of the love I so wanted flashes through, its just.. a hurricane of mixed emotions.. Then I block everything out, its too overwhelming for me to deal with. Tears are not something I wish to shed. I couldnt apologize even though I want to, nothing I could say or do, could erase what I said and did. Time doesnt rewind, there are no do overs. All that because at the time, I wanted myself and my freedom. Well I got my freedom and myself. Turns out I've too much freedom these days. Most nights I lay awake with a thousand memories, words, or just random thoughts rambling through my mind, to fall asleep and dream of the love I once upon a time knew. I guess the upside is I dont dream every night, well not that i always re, but these days its that I sleep. Its crazy to me, that I gave up the chance because I wasnt exactly sure if what I believed I wanted was what I wanted or thoughts of someone else. Makes no sense im sure. But now that I've had this year to myself, the freedom of doing whatever I please, no one hounding me, or trying to change who I am, Ive realized a lot of things. Like that I always changed what I said I wanted in a guy over the years.. example "I don't like little guys I like bigger guys". Only I wasnt cl Array girls Serravalle Pistoiese for fwbSingle Older BBW Single older bbw women looking for a long term relationship tats and long hair is fine. IF YOUR MARRIED OR HAVE A GF DO NOT REPLY!! Understand I'm 53 bbw but not looking for a quickie your gets mine any real girl hit me up mature women looking for sex
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5inch dick for small hole with a woman who a.) is simply using him because she isn't mature enough to stand on her own two feet. b.) has such a defeatist attitude. c.) would probably be a "yes-woman" without her own mind. You're setting yourself up to be, walked all over and worse., one year is not always enough to get over someone. It took me years of being single. And guess what that years also did for me? Taught me that I being alone. No one to "please," no one to argue with, no eggshells to walk on, complete and utter freedom and relaxation. And I have a TON of friends who would be there in a heartbeat for me if I ever needed anything. For a relationship, there has to be give and take, not just take. The poor schmuck who married you would be doing a whole hell of a lot of giving, and that is totally not fair to him. It is VERY selfish of you. Get involved in hobby activities, volunteer, whatever. Do something that fulfills you. Figure out what about you (YOU are the common denominator) is attracting non-serious guys. Because they are out there in ABUNDANCE. And STOP looking at each guy as a potential husband. Just live in the moment, for -'s sake! Loneliness and desperation can be spotted from a thousand away it's actually driving away all the good guys. What did you want from your post in this forum? A pity party? You've done enough of that on your own. Nobody here is going to say "Awh, poor, poor clgth." mature minnesota sex
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I got hit last week driving home (two days after writing the last check toward $2, in auto repair) and in the process met the most amazing human being. I wanted to share this "-" with you guys. Turns out the who was driving and hit me is paralyzed from the chest down following a near fatal car accident 6 years ago. It was a good lesson for me. When I first felt the impact, I was immediately aggravated more money, more car repair, more time I don't think I have, blah, blah, blah. After I got out of the vehicle and actually met this other driver, I was humbled. Anyway, he sent me an this morning to "check on me and my daughter and the pending car repairs" he included a link to his story and I thought you might like to it too. girls in Scotts Head az nude
Dover and taking the hovercraft across the channel. Did the standard tourist stuff in London, really liked the Tower Of London and shopping at Harrods. The only think I missed seeing was Wales just never got there. Friendly people, good beer, Pub Grub, wonderful museums and all that history .who could ask for more? seeking men in RukindoMy ex did everything to leave me with nothing. 7 years later, he lost the house, is deeply in debt, he is driving a beat up car. My life is going very,very well. Also, he is not aging well. He poisoned the and it was an ugly custody battle. I agreed to joint custody (my asked) but he told all who knew us that I lost custody. Fast forward, I have to push them to visit their father. I really believe in, it just takes awhile to manifest. original dating
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