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IMHO, everyone has great advice about "her" problem, but not your collective problem. If I were you, I would sit her down at a quiet time and tell her that you her but there are problems. This does not have to do with money but more about how you two operated (or failed to operate) as a team. I would tell her what you expected you married for richer or poorer and you meant it. But when you made those vows, you expected someone, your partner and your friend, to be beside you. Instead, you felt alone. You felt like you did not have someone who would help share the burden. You were sad and angry and frustrated, true, but all marriages have those moments. Tell her you don't want to feel alone like that again in a marriage. Tell her you know it is not all her fault, but that you need to find a way to work together. Tell her you are open to counseling. Tell her again that you her and are committed to the marriage and your family. Then what she says. Put the ball in her court. Once you get back on the same about commitment to each other, then you can talk about finances. Burnet horney weman
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