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You are spot on, my friend! I know I'm only a month in, but old habits are hard to break. I have worked jobs for a couple of years now and actually taking care of myself with the same diligence I do other people and picking up my hobbies again feels a bit weird. Throwing myself into jobs was initially avoidance behavior after a break-up, but once I moved past that, I had become accustom to constantly working. I have slowed down enough that I don't have to keep uniforms for different services hanging in my truck at all times, so that's a start. It's going to be a challenge, but it's do-able. As for the smile, it's there regardless. I have a lot to be grateful for so it's hard to wipe it off my face. I have to be honest and admit that stepping out of my comfort zone of work and back in to the dating scene is a bit unnerving. However, I'm ready and I'm making a conscious effort to slow down enough to let a woman catch up with me if she's so inclined. cyber chat for Cornhill-on-Tweed adults"The fact he is coming out is not bad.. it was just upsetting that his wife was totally unaware of it." Not to trivialize the situation, but that line strongly suggests that her reaction is mainly a response to a surprise. Even the nastiest surprise stops being surprising after a while; or to put in in other words, if she gives herself time, she'll get over her upset. For closeted men, it takes a lot of backbone to come out, so the husband's inability to confront the simple truth that he's queer, a dirty fag, a nasty fudgepacker, and he's going to break out in a pink feather boa any minute that inability is entirely understandable. Of course, as out men we know that none of those pejorative remarks are valid (except possibly the pink feather boa part), but it takes time to realize that being queer isn't the same as being some kind of subhuman. From where I sit, the most serious aspect of the situation looks to be the husband's drinking problem. If he asked me for my advice, I'll tell him to smell the coffee, admit he's queer (in some sense or other, whatever floats his boat), stop the drinking and dramatizing, realize he's acting out all the lies he's been told about gays, straighten up his back, and confront the future with a smile on his lips. "Acting out all the lies he's been told about gays." IOW, he's giving power to the people who promulgate those lies; is that what he wants, to let those cocksuckers control the way he leads his life? A better reaction is cold rage at being lied to. seeking my soulmate
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