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I like to drive fast. The feel of a touchy clutch under foot. The precise movements of a slap shift. The sound and feel of the motor howling to life under a heavy foot. That nerve wracking feeling that starts in the seat of your pants when you round a curve almost too fast. It's an addiction. A craving. A white knuckled hunger I have a death wish. I like to ride fast. The lurch of a touchy clutch under anothers foot. The sloppy movements of their hand on a slap shift. The sound and feel of the motor howling to life under their heavy foot. The blood draining feeling that starts in the pit of your gut when you round a curve almost too fast. It's an addiction. A craving. A white knuckled hunger , you could kill me I wonder about trust sometimes. And control. At times it feels like they are inversely proportional. In the kink and BDSM world there seems to be no two concepts more tightly interwoven. At least from my perspective. In the past I never identified as D/s however, of the activities that make up my sexual identity involve the trading of power the ebb and flow of control. When I am in control I like feeling the 'power under the hood' watching things tick off. Fascinated by the machinations of my own mind as they play themselves out. My little clockwork empire. The ropes my pawns and pawns lead the way. The environment I create my knights always flexible and. The toychest of tools my bishops . attacking from unexpected angles. My voice and hands the rooks unyielding and heavy. My mind the far reaching and dangerous. And then the switch When another is in control I like the feeling of being a rat in a maze. The unpredictability of having someone behind the wheel. The gut-wrenching in the pit of the stomach signaling a moment when one need not think only endure. hey dodger girlYou said you found out he was married via "another site," presumably. But then you turned around and said that this guy told you HIMSELF about his wife's comings and goings. Somewhere in the interim of this activity, you gave him a sort of hint (I'm guessing) that you'd be potentially down for an nsa/ discreet extramarital situation with him. Otherwise, why would he be telling you about his wife's absences/ presences? You want an answer to your whys, here you go: He wants to have an affair, WHY? Because he's a dirtbag, as so people have already tried to tell you. So, WHY you? No particular reason (sorry), but only bc you've tipped him off that you might be game., you tipped him off somehow that you might be a dirtbag too. Congratulations, you should be very flattered. WHY does he ignore you and then get back in contact after his wife leaves town? Because she's his wife, and you're the strange on the side. You're not special, you just seem game. You've gotten his dirtbag antennae up; again, congrats, you must have very high self esteem. He won't leave his wife for you, so forget it. The guy is a liar and a sleaze, knock it off with him. You're clearly not telling us the whole story here, insofar as your own accountability in this string of events, so your question (on top of being ridiculously obvious) is basiy nonsense. You know what's up, now how much responsibility are you willing to take for your part in it? Why are you interested in another woman's? What if you were/ are ever in her shoes? Grow up. single black male
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