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power over you? Why is his way of thinking any better then your way? If you load the dishwasher differently then he does what difference does it make? The dishes are still loaded and I guessing still get clean so why does that matter? Why cant you be different from him? Why should you not be allowed to think for yourself? I say it takes two people to be in a controling relationship. One who wants the control but the other person has to be willing to give up the control. You are so willing to give up your personal power just to save yourself from getting yelled at? What would happen if you loaded the dishwasher the way you wanted to and then just did not care if he got upset? What if you stopped walking on eggshells and just started living your life? Has he hit you? Has he put his hands on you in anyway because if he has this is a different post and your in danager and should leave a and as safely as possible. You have willing gave up who you are and how you think to keep the peace. But you are now learning that peace at any price is no peace at all. Your either going to have to take back your power by standing up to him or by leaving him. Staying on the same path your on on end up with have crushed the person you are and becoming a shell who only does and feels what she is allowed to feel. Is that the life you want for yourself? white boy looking 4 mexican girlLemme tell you what this approach do for you: It REQUIRE the two of you to communicate and compromise about money, set goals together, hold each other accountable for shared expenses, AND to be responsible to your own finances. It's a training exercise to teach you both how to manage finances together so it doesn't become a wedge in your relationship. If either of you doesn't hold up your own responsibility, it's obvious where the problem is and it can be dealt with quickly and honestly, together. It also does not unfairly put a greater burden on either of you, nor allow one to freeload off the other. It also leaves you both with your own fair share of income to spend as you please, without accountability to the other BUT *WITH* accountability to yourself! You can't overspend what you don't have, and you couldn't spend it from the joint account without being caught with hands in the cookie jar. As you become more practiced and responsible to each other, the system morph into something more joint. If either of you is irresponsible, it naturally separate your finances as you pick out the offending parts from the joint account or joint expenses (they'll become discretionary AFTER all other bills are paid). Ideally, by the time you both become trained to this system, the way you each *think* about money (and therefore, spending habits) become very similar to each other’s. At that point, you need not be afraid of money breaking your marriage apart, and you can consider merging everything if it suits you. If the whole thing goes south and you break up, you have only to split what’s left in the joint account, and divide the savings. Your own accounts are safe. There’s my 2-cents. free adult online dating
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