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It seems to me that, for example, in a V relationship (one person in the middle, the other two don't relate), each relationship find its own level, but most likely one person of the two on the ends of the V be primary most of the time. How can you shoot for absolute equality? Humanity is not that exact. It just isn't. Another side to the question you are asking is this: What happens to the longterm primary when the middle person meets another new partner who is suddenly the priority? NRE (new romance euphoria in poly-speak) is a force to be reckoned with. Longterm poly relationships usually have limits, reservations, boundaries etc. to guard against the loss of perspective that NRE brings. If the first person was the ONLY person, therefore the de facto primary, it must be quite unsettling to suddenly be secondary to a new person. Poly is very, very complicated and tough no matter how you look at it, and no matter where you currently are on the triangle or whatever shape the relationships take. doesnt everyone just want to find their other half
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