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Get into counseling, STAT, set your hormones (her-moans) aside, and put on your thinking cap. don't bite so hard at Unselfemployed. She's right. You're in a situation of your own making, and only you can fix it. We can all say, "Oh, poor. What a mean he is, you poor little lamb." But what good does that do? As someone pointed out, you can't change what you don't acknowledge. To own your mistakes is to learn from them. You need to buckle up and be strong now. Other lives depend on the decisions you make. My impulse is to suggest adoption, as you've already got your hands full. You think I'm heartless, but actually, I'm all heart (well, alright, I am a woman of heart AND mind). My heart goes out to you, but even more to your, and to your unborn. I am contemplating what is in their best interests. And a confused mother, overwhelmed, likely unemployed, economiy insolvent, involved with an immature, irresponsible (who cheats), does not a mother make. Your Pan guy? Let him fly. If he grows up and gets into counseling with you, and seriously gets with the program (with actions words are cheap), you might let him earn his way back into your life. But let him in too easily, and you teach him that you'll tolerate anything. Demand better for yourself, your, and your unborn. I promise, being alone is far better than being in a turbulent relationship while you're trying to make a home for you and your -(ren). If you choose to keep this, he have no choice but to support him/her. Flip side of that coin is, you have no choice but to maintain a civil relationship with him with as you navigate custody, visitation, support, all that good stuff. Like I said, counseling, stat. You've got a lot to work out. I wish you the best of luck, and a lot of expert guidance. lonely heart needs a friendI just don't understand what is wrong with some women these days! All of them seem to just worry about money! My girlfriend (supposed to be fiance' but I don't know anymore) is obsessed with money and paying things early. Even when we are all ahead on things she can only talk about money. My ex-wife was the same way. I really think that it boils down to them not having to go through a really hard time in the past to make them realize how things could always be worse. Which I have! I have known so women that complain about their men having problems in the bedroom, cheating, beating, etc. and I never heard them complain about money but I always seem to end up with one that acts like it isn't a big deal in the beginning and then they turn out the same. I mean I have changed jobs a couple of times over the last couple of years but I always make ends meet one way or another and work very hard. I am tall, dark, very intelligent, and decent looking (maybe overweight but very big boned), big and strong, and have a big heart. The worst thing I do is smoke cigarettes. It's real hard to quit when you live with another smoker and a badger/nag! I don't even drink! I do much all of the cooking, some cleaning and fix everything around here. She does the laundry which I can do better but I let her do it her way. She has these two worthless cats that seem to get more attention than me and though she worries about money all of the time she spends a ton on them and they get only the best of everything. I don't mind them too much other than the hair they shed but really I don't really want them. I have put up with them for almost years because I her but I just don't know how much more I can take on top everything. The sex is boring and now days virtually non-existent. I'm afraid she mention money during it and turn me off! She does take care of me in some ways but says I just use her for her credit but that isn't true because we have nothing financed. I want and we are running out of time and to get married but she always says we can't afford it. WTF? What happened to the old fashioned women that actually know what is? The ones that know that means through thick and thin, etc.? Where are all the ones that want a that doesn't drink, go out to bars, cheat, beat on them, takes care of things, has a sense of humor, wants a family, chat sex
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