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I know you your and rely on them to help keep you grounded, but they can't be allowed to MAKE you feel horrible. You're putting how you feel about life and your feelings of self worth in their hands you just can't do that. I would say to accept the fact that they're grown, have their own mind and let them be. Yes, it hurt, but you're doing yourself more harm by worrying about it than if you didn't. Live your life! Try to enjoy it as much as possible. Invite the over for supper if they don't want to come it's their loss. They'll come around. OR heck, just for your OWN peace of mind go ahead and go to a good therapist, tell your story, discuss your life and what they recommend. I think you feel much better for doing this. You don't sound like a nutty person just someone who's being controlled and badly coerced by her but, you them anyway. Right? I know I my 3! I don't sound "preachy" and that I have helped even a little. I wish you all the best. amatuer women Mount HealthyI guess I was too concerned about writing a novel for my first post (which obviously failed) than pointing out more of the significance of that particular event. Prior to then, our D/s relationship only existed in the context of our bedroom. In fact she was the first person that I had a meaningful D/s relationship of any kind, so I was hesitant about even mentioning extending it to outside of our bedroom as potentially part of our daily life. As to the incident in which I lost control, I just automatiy slipped in to my Dom persona over something that was not in our past boundaries for our D/s relationship. It was wrong, and I stopped and started to apologize for going outside of the boundaries we had operated in without discussing it first, but was interrupted by her to continue. We had a talk afterwards where she revealed to me that she had noticed that when she unintentionally pushed my quirks (. left an empty carton of. in the fridge), even though I'd chalked it up to living with someone and no big deal, I'd be much more dominant and when we role-played (which she liked). I never made a conscious connection between the two, but she started intentionally pushing my buttons (again, over things that I would just attribute to two people living together) to if that directly correlated to a more D/s session. After our chat, whenever I'd come across an empty carton of. (for example), I'd simply ask why she didn't text me when I was at the store. it ended up in her asking to be punished. I never said I was a good Dom and I've got a lot to learn (obviously only having one gf into a D/s relationship), but I'm certainly not looking for excuses to punish someone. I guess I just wanted to introduce myself and my experiences and get a little advice. I mean what do you do when you live in a conservative area with kinky sexual preferences and non-conservative political and religious beliefs? I mean there are plenty of kinksters in the area but I want more than just sex; I want someone I can form an actual connection with. Is there an kinky-atheist group in West MI out there? bad girls
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