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Shortly after her wedding, the newlywed wife is complaining to her mother about her husband's insatiable sexual appetite. "He wants to do it 15 times a day, anytime, anyplace, anywhere on the table, on the stairs, on the sofa, in the car, in the morning, in the afternoon, and in the evening. I can barely walk anymore!" The mother advises her daughter to tell him that she has her period, which seems like a good idea. So that evening, when the husband comes home from work, he proceeds to undress himself and his wife, when she stops him. "I'm sorry sweetie, but it's that time of the month." The husband gets up, looks at his wife, and says, "It's all good. I understand." He puts on a robe and walks away. The wife is somewhat surprised at the mature reaction of her husband, until a few minutes later he returns holding two glasses and a bottle of champagne. So she asks, "What's going on, dear?" "We're celebrating!" he replies. "Celebrating? What exactly are we celebrating?" she asks. "Anal sex week!" normal guy seeking thick woman with curves for long term nsa
Im into touching and watching masterbation, the larger the toy the more excited I get. unfortunately my wife doesnt feel the same way. I am above average in penis size, and I usually dont have issues with pleasing women. But Im into this whole size thing, my wife has gotten where she can take a 10"x dildo with slight discomfort. I made her a wooden penis that is 13x3 and she wont even try to take it. My ex, she would bring me a glass of ice and be holding the soda inside her vagina .it rocked! she would try anything, squash, wine bottles, my fist (big hands) My wife says Im sick and that no woman would ever want their vagina stretched that much, I think im normal and she is wrong. anyone out there into stretching? looking for them sexy black femalesHere, check out my list- 1) Doesn't talk about things which piss them off, then waits and explodes on you in a furious diatribe about the last months. Ugh. 2) Being so stubborn about an argument they can't concede a thing. 3) Watching an episode of Married With without telling me it's on and/or inviting me to watch. Party. Foul. 4) Not brushing their teeth. It's just no. No way. 5) If she robs a bank, makes off with more than 50, dollars, and doesn't share any of the loot with me. Anything less and I understand; but when you get to fifty large, it's time to share. Or at least buy me a soda. 6) If they prop their feet up on the dashboard of my car without apologizing to her first. A simple of the board can suffice. 7) Silly hypocrisy. 8). Note I said. 10) If she utters "this fourth of Battlestar Galactica was really their best," we're seeking counseling. 11) If we're at a music and must pick between and (insert name here), a hesitation of at least ten seconds is appropriate. 12) If she goes to the and doesn't bring me back a rock or at least takes the time to stop on the side of the road and pick out a reasonable facsimile to fool me with- dealbreaker. 13) "I want the Bridal Chorus for my wedding." You do realize that it's from an in which the couple breaks apart, right? right? 14) "Cool-hwhip." 15) "I want eight." 16) Intolerance of meat eating. I like meat. A lot. And if you don't like me eating meat, our meeting meet a meted uh meat meet something. 17) "Eww, sushi!" *sigh* 18) Playing minigolf without a sense of furious passion. That clown is mocking you with his hand-waving; don't take his crap. Shove the ball straight down his throat! 19) Some sign of financial sensibility. Something. Anything. A change jar even. 20) Habitual lateness. The cool part is, my list is probably do-able. ;) british dating
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