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First of all, talk to an attorney and figure out where you stand if you file for divorce. An attorney can make suggestions as to how to gather evidence you'll need, financial arrangements, etc. (PS: You can put a simple keystroke recorder on your computer without his knowledge, if you want to try to snag the password for the phone account.) Once you have information, then it's time for a talk. Tell him that his behavior the staying out all night, the phone behavior is that of someone having an affair. He'll protest, but just tell him that actions speak louder than words, and the fact that he has changed passwords so that you can't even pay the on-line was the final nail in the coffin. don't argue about it take it as a given. I think your instincts are right, unfortunately. Tell him, again, calmly, that 1) until he has been to a doctor and been checked out for STDs, sex is off the table, and 2) marriage counseling starts next week. If he isn't willing to do these things to pull your marriage together there's your answer, and you need to start making arrangements for a divorce. Sorry, but for me, once the trust is gone, I'm gone, too. I can't have an intimate relationship without trust. lets break night on some weed and drinks till granny seeking
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