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looking for awesome friendos she got on a plane and took the two somewhere. probably california. did it while i was at work, i think. i am dumbstruck and in tears. i have myself to blame. i told her i wanted a divorce before i had filed a motion in court. she's gone. im glad she's gone. i our two so dearly. everything in our house is quiet and loud. she left most of the toys and clothes and pictures. last night i was singing cartoon songs with my one-year-old daughter. today she is nowhere. tomorrow my two-year-old has soccer practice. he's gone. I them getting into trouble and their cute little words. my wife was never a wife. sometimes she was. she tried. we tried. she was awful and brave. i can't stand her and i her. she hasn't ed me all day. i haven't ed her. i the. i held both of them when they were born. i put up with her manic paranoid delusions during pregnancy. she aborted our third. I caught her having cybersex on yoville. i wished i'd never met her. everything in this house is soaked with years of our lives. i took it all for granted. i don't want these two to forget who i am. i have so much time. maybe ill start jogging, or get back into. how can i be here without them? how can i not enjoy all this free time? I am attached to the idea that she and they do what i can be happy about. who am i without my wife and? without my wife i am single and well-adjusted and happy. without my i am pitiful and disturbed and too so lonesome. all i have is memories; and they hurt. swingers club with old lady Nijmegen
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