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What if a couple followed your plan exactly? He works, she's a SAHM, they have a traditional, 50's marriage. They struggle to make it on one salary, but they live in a fixer-upper home that sucks up a lot of upkeep money. Second hand car, shared between them, making do. She works in the garden, cans and freezes fresh produce, shops the bargains, does all the thrifty tricks to make ends meet. Fruit trees, grape vines, fruit bearing bushes. They're broke, but happy. Then one day her DH drops dead of a heart attack. She has to take out a (or uses his meager insurance policy) for his burial expenses, and now she's flat broke. She can sell the house, try to find work (good luck, with younger women with degrees competing for minimum wage jobs). But she has no cash left, and hungry mouths to feed. Would you snip at her for having she couldn't afford? Circumstances change. People have to adapt. In her case, she either takes some public assistance and trains for a full-time career, or they're homeless and starving. Sad thing is, most folks would piss and moan anyway because this irresponsible, middle aged woman, is sucking the life out of welfare while they bust their asses at work. I say, enjoy that righteous indignation while you can. Before, your own job might be outsourced and you could find yourself in the same boat. Uh-oh, that boat's leaking, so you'd better bail fast, or learn how to tread water. hot hands with the magic touch
but not others. I happen to be rather fond of hard questions, for instance. To be very clear, what I am not really seeing in your posts is a willingness to think about other positions, even though you say in words that you are doing that. Your actions do not say the same thing as your words. That's fine. Normal, even. There are posters on here who are delightful and kind women who aren't terribly interested in asking or being asked hard questions and who feel that any sort of questioning or disagreement are attacks. A lot of people think I am a tremendous asshole for that reason. So if your primary interest is in making people like you, then you might not want to ask questions. If your primary interest is in understanding things, then maybe you do. If you aren't interested in questions, then it is obvious to me why you would subject others (opponents of marriage) to hard questioning when they aren't even here to defend themselves, and when you don't seem willing to be subjected to the same. Because then all you do is make statements. No questions. No thinking. IMHO, this is the reason most people come to believe the things they believe. Because they just do. Because everyone around them does, and because it's just so blippin' OBVIOUS that that's the way things are. So why do they even need to be questioned? It just doesn't make sense, and it's a waste of time. But if you ARE interested in understanding, I find your approach baffling. What can a bunch of people tell you, who can't fathom the mindset of others, about a bunch of people who can't fathom the mindset of others? That is my answer to your question. It is NORMAL to consider anyone who does not look like, walk like, talk like, live like, or think like everyone wrong, stupid, disagreeable, unfathomable, or evil. It is up to you to decide whether that means normal is desirable or not, whether normal is adequate justification for a position. adult friends virginiaACTIVE DUTY MILITARY MAN WTD. married women wants for men
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