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divorce him .then that is fine you are looking for validation of a decision you already reached! Also your title was confused .not ready to bail!!! BTW, I am very sure people around you told you not to get married so or have so and you ignored them you know why you thought you knew better and could do it all! I bet you do not have a job I am assuming .how can you take care of 4 with absent dad .maybe you need to go back to school and improve your chances .maybe he is depressed (that deployment I would not be too surprised) maybe yes you should leave and deal with the fall out. who knows? what I know is you are making decision when you are exhausted! you said you are not depressed!!! well your posts do not sound like a happy person making a sound decision today or the past 10yrs. maybe enroll in post secondary and get a life beside being a mom and a wife .just being you! You can tell him what you wrote here. and you can give yourself a deadline for an exit. He is not even around enough to get know you or you get to know him! It is very possible you two are drifted beyond repair .but you know something focus on bettering yourself .there is no point of trying to get divorce when your future looks so bleak. get education (I am not sure if military wives get grants or such) but educate yourself so prepare to be independent after all he could also die tomorrow so this should be your focus really. mature needs introductionHard to help you for reasons: your negativity, the stubborn way you cling to cognitive distortions, the way your mind roams from problem to problem so when someone tries to address problem X and causative factors A B, you respond with problems Y Z and causative factors C through G. Look, getting fired IS a massive ego blow for anyone. I am sincerely sorry it happened. Though I KNOW it's the toughest lesson in town, I sincerely you learn from it. Because you have a lot to learn. You really do. And believe it or not, this is the PERFECT time to learn and embark on big changes. It IS an opportunity to make a new start: to take an honest look at yourself, address standing problems, SOLVE them, and move forward from a stronger position. I nothing wrong with going home to regroup. It's a a good idea. The questions are: Is this right time? And is going home tantamount to blowing up your marriage? In trying to sort through that, I end up back at square one: that you're hard to help because your mind complicates accumulates problems, instead of simplifying resolving them. Attempting to cut through ALL the tangles you're further tangling, I end up with this: You ABSOLUTELY must get some decent support in your life. Neediness is the issue that's wrecking your career, relationships, and probably your marriage. It makes you anxious, demanding, critical, self-centered, and ineffective. You’ve ignored my suggestion that avail yourself of professional help, but I'm going to say more about it anyway. IMO, therapists aren't miracle workers. You need a lot more than 50 minutes per week of complaining to a therapist. For that reason, I strongly suggest you: A) Learn cognitive therapy techniques, become EXPERT at them, use your to apply them objectively and religiously. You DESPERATELY need clarity, DESPERATELY need to distinguish fears from facts. Understanding CBT and training your mind to stop awfulizing get you there. B) Join a therapy or support group ASAP. IMO you benefit greatly from group support feedback. I, personally, found it far more beneficial than individual therapy. It “help:” you’ll have a group of helpers who’ll take the pressure off your relentless demand for help in other spheres of life C) Go to individual therapy, as well, so you have a supportive person to talk to. married people dating
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