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It is all I can do to not be a wreck. Does anyone feel like this? I have loved this women for nigh on 17 years now. We spend every moment we can together. She is my best friend. Fun dates, walks, coffee, a great life. She has been travelling a lot in the last year, and I seriously am starting to lose my shit. Anxiety, no focus, longing, pain. I can't tell her this because I don't want her to worry or ruin her experience so I am spilling my guts here. Why is it so hard for me? I don't want it to be this way. Part of it I know is jealousy. She gets to go away and have a vacation. I am stuck back here with all the same responsibilities; every day stress, no escape, but what is worst of all, nobody to talk to like I talk to her. I can't imagine if she ever left this earth with out me. At least now I have the expectation of her returning. It hurts, I haven't allowed myself to cry, but writing this down is making it awfully in here. I feel so inadequate without her. SO damn lonely. I have cleaned the house, done all the yard work, folded laundry, gone to work, grocery shopping all in a day and a half. The only thing that helps is staying busy, but I am getting so damn bored doing these things with out her. Does anyone have any miracle advice to help ease the pain in my heart? Why am I so pathetic? i want to cater to your every desire
I have never seen an ICU patient refused life extending treatment based on finances, even when such treatment goes against the judgment of the intensivists treating the patient. I have seen dead nonagenarians kept alive at taxpayer and/or hospital expense for weeks at a time. In one instance the family refused palliative care and insisted on painful interventions for a dying old until after they had taken their vacation because they didn't want to plan a funeral until they returned. Sometimes I feel like ICU staff are being blackmailed. If the general public knew how the bulk of their healthcare dollars were being spent, they would be sickened. polynesian ladies into kinky playon my own divorce (although my ex did have this same assumption that the were hers to take). In my divorce, I was to be unemployed and suicidally depressed. Having no money to support the, I did not fight for custody (but I did fight for some additional parenting time) since I knew there was absolutely no of winning and I also knew that the would be better off financially (not because of some special bond) with their mother. As for my bond with the, they are the ONLY thing that has kept me alive. And like noncustodial fathers out there, when I take them back to their mother, I become extremely depressed each and every time and am hell to deal with those first few of days. I am returning them today after a two week vacation with them and it was so nice to have them here, even though they mostly play video games (we did go camping a couple of days). So now I get to go from feeling close to normal back to loneliness and depression. social dating
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