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Hard to help you for reasons: your negativity, the stubborn way you cling to cognitive distortions, the way your mind roams from problem to problem so when someone tries to address problem X and causative factors A B, you respond with problems Y Z and causative factors C through G. Look, getting fired IS a massive ego blow for anyone. I am sincerely sorry it happened. Though I KNOW it's the toughest lesson in town, I sincerely you learn from it. Because you have a lot to learn. You really do. And believe it or not, this is the PERFECT time to learn and embark on big changes. It IS an opportunity to make a new start: to take an honest look at yourself, address standing problems, SOLVE them, and move forward from a stronger position. I nothing wrong with going home to regroup. It's a a good idea. The questions are: Is this right time? And is going home tantamount to blowing up your marriage? In trying to sort through that, I end up back at square one: that you're hard to help because your mind complicates accumulates problems, instead of simplifying resolving them. Attempting to cut through ALL the tangles you're further tangling, I end up with this: You ABSOLUTELY must get some decent support in your life. Neediness is the issue that's wrecking your career, relationships, and probably your marriage. It makes you anxious, demanding, critical, self-centered, and ineffective. You’ve ignored my suggestion that avail yourself of professional help, but I'm going to say more about it anyway. IMO, therapists aren't miracle workers. You need a lot more than 50 minutes per week of complaining to a therapist. For that reason, I strongly suggest you: A) Learn cognitive therapy techniques, become EXPERT at them, use your to apply them objectively and religiously. You DESPERATELY need clarity, DESPERATELY need to distinguish fears from facts. Understanding CBT and training your mind to stop awfulizing get you there. B) Join a therapy or support group ASAP. IMO you benefit greatly from group support feedback. I, personally, found it far more beneficial than individual therapy. It “help:” you’ll have a group of helpers who’ll take the pressure off your relentless demand for help in other spheres of life C) Go to individual therapy, as well, so you have a supportive person to talk to. the adicts the prostitutesI was collateral damage. He sure hated my brother, but even today, it wouldn't qualify as a hate. I was very, my brother was a lot older than I. I was in the hospital for a time, then when I got out, they were very careful of me. I couldn't go out to play at recess, I had to stay, alone, in the classroom unless someone was bad and lost play ground privileges. Made it very hard to settle in to a new school. I wasn't only the new kid, I was weird, and couldn't do what the other did. The only permanent damage is a difficulty remembering, I have to write them down, and words sometimes get lost on me. Simple words. I remember (as an adult) trying to tell someone the dog's ball was over by the couch. Only I couldn't remember the word couch. I could tell you it was, and beige, and you sat on it, and it pulled out into a bed, but couch, sofa, davenport, all gone. Once I hear the word, it's back like it was never gone. My old staff was awesome. They'd hear me talking to a patient, and if I froze, they'd toss in the word I needed, and we all went on without skipping a beat. If you didn't know about it, you wouldn't notice, everyone does it sometimes. How did you get hurt? injuries are really tough. dating married women
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