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Am I the only one? The very short version, I've always just let the days go by and go with the flow. A few years ago I reflected on life and realized just drifting through isn't the answer. So I found myself starting over. I went back to for 2 semesters, before running into financial problems. I took advantage of a bad situation and used medicaid to get things taken care of that I've been ignoring for years. In that time I was making plans for my future and figuring out how I was going to my new goals. Unfortunately life never stands still, so my plans have changed a few times. None the less I'm ready to get back to working for a living. The last 6-8 months have been a battle of patients, but I finally made it. Well to job hunting for some crappy end job. lol It's only temporary, so most anything will do. In part of my self improvement goals Next spring I plan to start the ADK Fire Tower Challenge. It consist of hiking up 10 Mountains or so. If that goes well, I want to expand it from just the Adirondacks to all of NY. My main focus right now is gather the resources I need to try starting my own business next spring. If that doesn't work out it looks like I'll be going back to. What I'm looking for in a woman is someone who has hopes and dreams. A woman that is intelligent, kind, , caring, compassionate, and determined. Seeing as I've taken a long hiatus from the whole dating thing, someone who is a little patient would be a huge bonus. I've made a lot of mistakes in my past, I don't deny it or hide from it. I've learned from it. Unfortunately I can't take you to a 5 star restaurant right now. OK so right this second I can't afford 's, but hope that changes soon. I'm not looking for someone to support me, Well financially anyways. I would like to take it kind of slow. Start out with exchanging , I don't have a cell so I can't text. Sorry, It cost to much for 3 text messages a month. lol Hopefully I'll get a back soon and can afford to take you someplace decent. OK
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A happy marriage and A lot of people are too messed up to make that happen. But you are not. Despite that tragic event, you created a fulfilling life and have much to be have much to be proud of. I don't doubt the emotions the event are confusing. They are what they are; and you have to make peace with loving the, wishing he'd gotten help, and loathing his desperate acts the pain they caused. I know it's not easy. But you mention shame: nah, jettison shame. No rational person feels anything but compassion for the fourteen-year-old whose life exploded. She was a victim. One's heart hurts for her. The gut response of any rational adult is to want to protect her, to very much want her to be okay. And you are! Had you wanted, you could've acted out the pain confusion, turned to -/alcohol, become an embittered problem person. Instead, you kept your tender heart, married a supportive, had great are doing quite well. Of course, there are cruel irrational people. But there are also a whole lot of rational people who have been rooting for you along. You have every reason to replace shame with pride in your resilience fundamental sanity. While it’s right and natural to grieve the loss of your father, you are not him. You’re not responsible for the good things he did or the bad. Look at Kaczynski: he is greatly admired for the way he handled his familial tragedy. No shame whatsoever attaches to him for loving his brother (the unabomber) or being related to him. As for reaching out: familial tragedy is always a difficult subject. It makes people uncomfortable because they don't know what to say fear saying the wrong thing. So, you need an inner circle one or two friends or relatives you can turn to when you need to discuss this subject. I, personally, wouldn't discuss it with all my friends, only a select few. I’d also shield myself from news stories that remind me of the past. You’ve been through enough. No need to poke at the wound. You owe it to yourself, your husband to protect your sanity let the past recede. Because the truth is there really is SO much more to life, so much in the present. Nothing's more fun than Christmas with toddlers. Your life, your, your marriage, your are in the present: stay with them. in omaha tonight and tomorrow night nsa
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