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Depending on where you live, there are local BDSM groups. They often have social get togethers ed "munches" and some of the more organized groups have websites and do skill seminars or conferences. If you e "bdsm checklist", there are a bunch on line. Find one you like, print it out, and both of you do it and trade. People with interests in the dom/sub stuff are individuals, and everyone likes things differently. It helps to have a common place to start talking. I'm a switch. One of my subs would write a journal. That helped me get feedback (she was shy about direct talking a lot of times) about what she liked/didn't like/tolerated because I enjoyed it/never wanted to do safeword city. Since I couldn't read minds and what does being a sub mean to her? There is so much variance out there. that helps! Feel free to post questions or read archives on this forum. casual dating Wayne freenot to have a safeword, and listen when you essentially told him that you had reached a limit without one. The reason you have a safeword is so you can say all kinds of things that might stop the play otherwise, but until the safeword is spoken he doesn't have to stop. It was his responsibility to put one in place as you could not know as a novice. There is no way for you to know every hard limit you might encounter before anything happens, which is another reason for a safeword. And somethimes what was ok one time might push past a limit another, and you have the right to stop for that as well. The dom has the right (and obligation IMO) to push your limits, but must also respect them. For him to say he would not accept no (without a safeword available) is unreasonable with any novice, or even anyone with experience. With this foreknowledge, you should be able ot find someone who is more acceptable and can provide you with hte experience you want and deserve. don't give up dur to one bad experience, use it as a learning one. slut wife
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