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It has been six years since my divorce was final and I still have not been able to move on. I am still extremely bitter on the adultery that she committed, taking my one year old daughter (at the time) away to across the country and yada yada yada. Is this uncommon? I have tried dating different people and one of two things happens: 1) they are not interested; or 2) they are interested and then after a few dates when they try and get closer I run. I have tried therapy, no help. Yet I keep trying different internet sites to find the right special person (including s) and seems to be a complete circle going round and round and round. I have thought about just saying the hell with it, go put my wedding band back on (she has since remarried and has another -), put our wedding back on my desk and just pretend I am still married. Believe it or not, I still go out and celebrate our anniversary even though it is still me. I never bring up my ex with people I date but I am sure they figure it out. Anyone has any other suggestions outside of jumping off the Gate Bridge (just kidding on the last part but I am at my wits end) who needs to get eaten out
Here's how my divorce worked The first year or so was HELL. Everyone was mad at everyone. My ex told his family whatever he told them and, of course, they sided with him and my formerly good relationship with them suffered. It was a terrible time. Mistrust all around. I'm sure my in-laws built a case against me, ed me an unfit mother, dredged up whatever they could think of to reinforce a negative view of me. I did the same to them. I didn't want the near them, feared they'd kidnap them, trump up a story, or whatever. I hated them and was extremely threatened by their united front. Fast forward a year or two The legal stuff was over. Lawyers were out of the picture and my ex and I had settled into a workable co-parenting arrangement. Relations with my in-laws began to thaw and I occasionally attended their family functions. Fast forward a few years It was water under the bridge. I had no problem sending the to the in-laws, no problem talking to them. We were back on a good footing, which only got better over time. That's my experience, but I was active in single mother groups and saw others have the same experience. I you building a case against your DIL. I suppose that's natural, but it's natural, too, that she finds it threatening and is distancing. We're all human, after all. MY ADVICE: Be a grown up. Realize divorce creates turmoil and do YOUR best to minimize it. Realize it usually shakes out. TRY not to get caught up in the hysteria. Do your best to avoid saying or doing anything that make it hard for your DIL to eventually trust you and resume her formerly good relationship with you. My divorce was ago, EXTREMELY contentious at first, and, at the time, I'd have sworn I'd NEVER forgive my inlaws. Yet it ended up amicable all around. At one of the early family functions I warily attended, my FIL took me aside and said: "I want you to know I'm your friend. I always was and always be." Very healing moment, in which we both saw the big picture and both knew we had, at one time, allowed ourselves to get caught up in temporary insanity. It CAN be temporary, if you let it be. It's early in the process. If I were you, I'd make a point of keeping my nose out of the early, ugly stuff. granny fucking Eagle Creek OregonCar head 4u in my mature chat room. dating conversation
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