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So here you are continuously upping the ante, I get it, you have things that the majority of people do not have to deal with, extra expenses due to medical issues. However with a sick you were able to start a business and complete a college degree..YOU FOUND A WAY. You can still find a way to take care of this. I saw you mention going to Idaho to find the hoepfully stbx, that alone would suck down the funds so you are obviously willing to pay out the money there. You could also chose to go active military and your dependant would be covered under insurance or if your fiance adopts the his insurance cover the. I mean where is he in all of this? IF you guys are a team, be one. You know everyone in this world has some burden that seems like it's above what others face, some reason to point to that makes them taking care of issues harder than someone. That's our mind's way of saying don't look, don't make more sacrifices or work even harder because I really don't want to. We all fight it. You have written how you haven't really taken the lead role of fighting to get this done. Face with adversity from a judge or your ex you deferred to what they said, you didn't push or find the, you dropped it, chosing instead to say things like "well, I'm not planning on getting married anyway so fuck it", this is too hard. Well now that choice is here again, you'll have to make MORE sacrifices, tighten the belt even more or you won't get what you want. These challenges you face aren't going away, they continue, life has a way of continuously setting them up, giving us reasons to give in. A marriage won't end it, nor this divorce, you'll have to live within' the hand you've been dealt. So while your -'s illness is not in your control your reaction to it and your decisions on how to live with it are. Look, I feel for you but sympathy isn't going to help you get this done. Pointing out that you have options might. so start planning to succeed instead of giving the reasons for failure. Good Luck sexy married seeking hottyThose disclosures, like the disclosures for any medical procedure or medicine, are there to protect against liability in the event of the odd outlier: the virginal Mormon who is pos by her pre-nup blood test w/no history of any contact. In such a case, the result is likely due to lab error, and the patient is tested again. Within high-risk groups, the test has damn close to % sensitivity and specificity. It's a good test; and knowing is a good thing: it can lead to lifestyle modifications and therapeutic choices that can greatly improve both survival time and quality of life. For example, great controversy exists as to when to initiate HAART. The current practice is to wait until the CD4 count goes below /ml, or the viral load exceeds 50, /ml. However, there are some who believe if you start early in the infection, and keep the viral load low, you both minimize the number of viral particles (virons) around to evolve resistance, and enhance the immune system's ability to deal with the ones that are there (fewer virons=more CD4+ cells). Also, of HAART's notorious side effects are diminished in a patient who is still. On the other hand, there are those who believe early introduction of HAART is a set up for the selection of resistant mutations. Both have their points, and the jury is still very much out. Like I said, it's controversial stuff, but it's a patient's choice to make. In the meantime, both meds and survival continue to improve. And while a cure isn't on the immediate horizon, I'm hopeful that there be one w/in the next generation. What's happening in Africa can't help but move the conscience of the world, and motivate the research community: at the very least, a cure is a ticket to Stockholm. In the meantime, take care of yourself, and be there to benefit when it at last comes. Also, there's the moral to consider: ideally, knowing your status should compel you to play responsibly. I can't think of a better example of 'bad -' than a guy who knows he's poz BB toping w/out at least informing his partner. (more to come!) hang out for romance
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