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I do most of my writing on airplanes and in airports. I don't know why, I think it has something to do with departures. With leaving. I look forward to traveling and I travel often and I'd like it doesn't completely have to do with that. It doesn't but it's a nice perk.
A few months ago I was flying back to New Jersey for a memorial dinner for my grandfather, that side of the family I had not seen since I was. When I got on the flight I immediately said to the greeting attendant, "Hey, how's it going?" He replied back, "thank you". His response became more clear when I sat down near the front and nearly all of the people who came on either ignored eye contact with him, or simply replied "good", "fine." It was a night flight and I suppose people were tired and worried beyond politeness. The inclement weather certainly wasn't helping. This didn't stop me from smiling at him and politely declining for a drink when he came to ask. "You're my favorite person on this plane." We both laughed.
I'm just a fucking people person like that.
My neighbor at the window, crouched forward focused on his iPod barely glanced at the attendent, (John, from his nametag). He shook his head quickly, as if bothered, and returned to his world.
John came back to hand out the drinks, and he stopped at me to hand me one. "Oh, I think this was for someone else, I didn't order a drink." He frowned, as if I let him down, and he walked off. Confused, I returned to listening to cake. A few moments later her returned, "Are you sure you didn't want something to drink?" I misunderstood his subtly, "Oh, no thank you." He retorted with a grin on his face, "I hear the scotch is really good."
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If everything seems to be loaded in the negotiables or icing-on-the-cake circles, maybe you are not asking enough for yourself. This could be sending the message that you are wishy-washy and don't care enough about yourself. This itself would be the signal for a guy who just wants to have sex with you that he can get do that without too much resistance on your part. When you get your chart to the state where you think everything is what you want begin to think about the texture of your past involvements. Were there any patterns of behavior on either side that interfered with your relationships? For instance, if you had trouble expressing your needs, you need to work on assertiveness. If you found yourself blowing up in anger at various men (whether you feel they deserved it or not) because they did not fulfill your needs, you need to work on anger management or you need to work on developing a better intuition about the men you meet. If you found it hard to communicate at all any of what you were feeling whether anger, sadness, hurt then perhaps some intimacy classes or workshopa are in order. The idea here is to get help with any relationship skills that are lacking. Now, take a look at your parents' relationship and if any dynamic therein could be affecting the way you behave. It's amazing how much men can be like their fathers and women can be like their mothers. It's not always the case, but it is something to look at. Perhaps there were no real problems in your parents' relationships and you are really a very adult having had good role models. Perhaps your mother didn't teach you or wasn't able to teach you how to date. My mother never dated. At 20 she married the first who came along and she lucked out. They've been happily married over 60 years, which is wonderful, but the downside is I never got any dating advice from her. After my LTR (we met in college) broke up I was, for the first time, thrust into the real-time dating world and had no idea what I was doing. I made mistake after mistake, got hurt repeatedly until I started to figure out what worked for me. seeking that serious younger girl for a fwb relationshipi can tell you that sociologists are quite fond of categorizing people and social conventions. when you step out of theory and into real life, that is when it becomes more complex. we are unique creatures with unique prior experiences, hopes, and dreams. no sociological method or theory in the world can tell you how to communicate with specific people or what these people expect. the only way is to live it. the best dating sites
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