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It's the only logical conclusion you could come too in order to make ends meet. You'll be saving the money you've been helping her out with and your wife be able to help your mom out all day -! Win-win. I bet in 2 months she be working full time. In all seriousness though, I do not think your wife change. I also don't think it would be wise to borrow from the -'s. The amounts you "get" now vs. what you get in the future is ridiculously low and depending on your tax bracket, you could pay around 25% of that amount in early withdrawal fees and your taxes. Could you sell your income property or are you upside down in your mortgages? Personally I think you are at that "shit or get off the pot" stage and you don't want to leave because of the (and the money) which only leaves one actual option. It sucks to feel like your damned if you do (stay and go broke) and damned if you don't (divorced and go broke). Looking at it that way though, either way, you are going to go broke. Do you want to do it with her or without her? How do you really feel about HER after going through all this? If you her and think you can respect her again, I say accept that she always be financially irresponsible and take over that part yourself. There are few perfect people out there, is this her one and only flaw? Is she a cheater? Does she berate you in public? Beat the? looking for a single white guy under 35
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