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There are a lot of mental, emotional, territorial, financial, social, adjustments to be made. It can back up on a person because that's a lot to handle. I think there are also a lot of strong intentions and notions that people put on their marriage, consciously or otherwise. People also their husband/wife in a serious light. It's easy for everything to be all laughs when you're just dating and who the hell cares if you break up. The fights you are having are normal growing pains type of stuff. Your descriptions of the fights and conversations sound like at least one of you isn't really listening and is instead already off and running with logic/scenario a,b, or c and thinking of the next thing that person wants to say. Instead of just listening. Try just dealing with the cold hard facts of the situation instead of assuming ANYTHING. don't leap to any conclusions. Just let things be and give each other the benefit of the doubt that neither of you are doing anything hurtful to the other one (because that is most likely the case.) Try saying less out loud and giving neutral responses. You need to dial down the atmosphere at your house. You also need to take the divorce word off the table. The problems you are describing with your husband are not divorce material. So it's entirely unfair to bring up divorce, and it's really mean. Cheaters, abusers, addicts, and people who totally quit on their spouse, are people that are divorce material. You and your husband just have some communication issues with confusing misunderstandings thrown. So cut down the bullshit, stop the expectations and assumptions leading to butthurtedness and just let situations be what they are.. Keep in mind that 90% of the shit you worry about NEVER happens.. Remember to also lead with your heart, you're supposed to each other, not think nasty things about each other. Lead by example on that front. discreet fucking Jersey
Reading a bit further on this forum i that the "experiment" phrase is usually used about women who are already in a couple and wanting a woman on the side. Not what I meant. When I made a joke about my own "experiment" I thought, being a teenager at the time, that every thing from masturbation on was classed as an "experiment" becuase its happening for the first time. I had a lot of fun experimenting when I was a teen and I dont think any of my partners feel used? I got the feeling the poster is a teenager. Looking at it from the point of view of budding sexuality I think its harsh to say not to "experiment on another human being", as though its a scientific lab and one is on the table and the other is conducting the tests. Some things unfold slowly and not obviously. And two people doing new things together is always an experiment, isn't it? Imagine your own sexual awakening carrying the moral that you had to be sincerely commited and looking for a term relationship or you were a selfish dabbler in women's hearts? You'd still be going out with Geena Perkins from 4th grade just because you spun the bottle in her direction. Gero sex GeroOne on one it is like being on the table at the ob/gyn spot light illuminating all of your secret places no where to hide. But there is an unavoidable connection of sorts. In a group I think the sense of objectification would really intensify, especially if the group were talking amongst themselves about what they were seeing. Neither is "easier", but perhaps a somewhat different flavor of distress. dating agencies
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